Thoughts on the ugly friend.
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Thoughts on the ugly friend.

This is a discussion on Thoughts on the ugly friend. within the Female Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Thoughts From the 'Ugly Friend'*|*Literally, Darling Always felt this way! Yes and I've had those moments where the guy looks ...

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Old 02-27-14, 03:18 PM   #1
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Thoughts From the 'Ugly Friend'*|*Literally, Darling

Always felt this way! Yes and I've had those moments where the guy looks at me and gives me this disgusted look and then looks at my gf and treats her nice and all sweet. I sometimes think being ugly has protected me from jerks and for awhile it did but I got taken advantage in other ways.

I can't remember how many times in my life I've been called ugly by a man. It hurts and I never forget but to top it off. I'm now 45 years old and my own friggin body is turning against me. My body has changed so much that I don't like it now. It's hard to accept.

Most of the men I date are about 10 years younger but I have some guys up to 15 years younger who want to date me and I don't feel comfortable with that. Infact my last ex was 15 years younger than me. I found out after the fact. He lied to be with me.

Sometimes it sucks to be a woman that is considered ugly.
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Old 02-27-14, 03:46 PM   #2
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I'm sorry about all that. People are shitty. On the other end of the gender spectrum ,it sucks just as much to be less than desirable looking as a male as well.
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Old 02-27-14, 10:41 PM   #3
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I know it goes both ways!!!
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Old 02-27-14, 10:50 PM   #4
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Same here!! :(


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Old 03-12-14, 04:37 AM   #5
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before, I felt this way. Other people, who don't know me, don't look at me well compared to my friends. The disgusted look - yeah, I know that. Before, I have this acne on my face. I could totally understand why. I have great body shape, just the skin on my face. It had been tough to do treatment as it's costly and nothing seemed to work. After schooling, I got my job, and I really invested on treating my acne. It's been a combo of few treatments. I've also undergone microdermabrasion and I bought a personal MD (PMD) so I could regularly peel off the skin on my face to get rid of the scars from the acne. Great thing was that I responded to the treatment. I was surprised myself.

But before that, I've undergone Acnetrex (or accutane) for 4 months. My face got cleared. But I also understood that acne is acne. If it's in your blood, it's going to keep on coming out. That's why I only took it the minimum of 4 months. And then I observed. I know someday it's going to come out again. And I said to myself, I have to be prepared. I have a topical tretinoin 1mg maintenance and been using it til now. Almost a year later, it all starts to come back, but slowly and in small sizes. Good thing as others have worst experiences I've read online.

Anyway, that's when I started to do my research and really tried to understand the disease process of acne. Since I'm a nurse, medical terms weren't really that hard. With everything I learned, I designed my own course of treatment using OTC stuffs. But anyway, I then started PMD and my face seemed to absorb the treatments better as old skin was regularly removed.

And then, now I am getting a clearer skin - not the perfect skin to be exact. But I no longer have those pitiful breakouts. Only a few ones during menstruation, which is pretty much understandable. And I got no redness from the scars and the small pits have gone more shallow. Now, I am more comfortable wearing make up than having those pimples and then cover my face with make up.

I have constantly taken care of myself now that my friends were a bit surprised with the big change. Whenever we have a reunion, they're like in awe. It's not that I look really good, but way different than before (in a good way). People have been treating you nicer than ever. It's been good since then.

I think it's up to us whether or not we want to look good. You can certainly make up in some other ways like dressing up nicely, something like that.

Last edited by XelinG; 03-12-14 at 04:39 AM.
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Old 03-12-14, 04:42 AM   #6
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It's just a shame that most people do value looks so well that it influences how they treat people. It shouldn't be like that. First thing in mind why I did what I did was to get that self confidence in facing people and not really have them accept me or treat me nice. People can look good and can still be rejected and treated badly, how much more those who don't.
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Old 03-12-14, 09:25 AM   #7
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im pretty sure that amongst my friends, im the ugly one.

i dont take care of myself, its true. im a little ragged, but part of that is just from being single for so long. eventually, you just stop trying. that, and sometimes there is comfort in apathy. i often wear ratty old clothes just because they're comfy, and i need to be comfy more than i need to be pretty. doesnt do anything for my self-esteem, but at least i can be warm while im ugly and alone in the corner.
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Old 03-13-14, 05:31 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elizinator View Post
im pretty sure that amongst my friends, im the ugly one.

i dont take care of myself, its true. im a little ragged, but part of that is just from being single for so long. eventually, you just stop trying. that, and sometimes there is comfort in apathy. i often wear ratty old clothes just because they're comfy, and i need to be comfy more than i need to be pretty. doesnt do anything for my self-esteem, but at least i can be warm while im ugly and alone in the corner.

Feel much the same way.
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Old 06-09-14, 05:53 PM   #9
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Quote:
I can't remember how many times in my life I've been called ugly by a man. It hurts and I never forget but to top it off. I'm now 45 years old and my own friggin body is turning against me. My body has changed so much that I don't like it now. It's hard to accept.
I am sorry to hear that, and i am really ashamed that i am a guy when i hear how big jerks some of them are. Everyone should be treated equally no matter on how the person looks like. I myself am ugly, skinny with a stomach, like i have ascites, and i am usually given the same look by pretty much every girl. I know that looks dont matter in the long run ( i mean they stop mattering once you meet the person) but it is really hard for me to be confident and meet new people cause of it.But i am starting to work out and hope that i will fix myself as much as i can and i suggest that to you althogh you are much older then me.

Quote:
Most of the men I date are about 10 years younger but I have some guys up to 15 years younger who want to date me and I don't feel comfortable with that. Infact my last ex was 15 years younger than me. I found out after the fact. He lied to be with me.
On this subject i would want to say ,,Love knows no boundaries". Its what i believe (exception is pedophilia of course).

I just want you to remember next time you see that bad look, to remember that every person has their beautiful side, if not outside, then inside, although you probably had a lot of bad times in your life, like me, that pain definetily made you stronger and better person, and you probably treat people more nicely due to knowing how much doing opposite of that hurt, am i right? Just remember this YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! :)

And at last i want to apologize for talking in female issues forum although i am a guy, it feels wrong, sorry.
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Old 09-25-14, 11:27 PM   #10
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OP how do you get to date those younger guys? I am younger than you and neither older or younger guys would even initially date me but check me off as the last resort at the bottom of the barrel. Men have told me that I am lacking and fat in the wrong places since I am unflattering pear shaped with an ew face. Though I do sympathize with being considered the ugly or homely chick within my female associates. I try not to care since I don't have to impress anyone anyway.
Ah it just sucks to be a woman anyway.
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