Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Female Issues


This is a discussion on Scared within the Female Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; My mom is going to have me going to a doctor soon to get checked for Poland's syndrome or any ...

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-19-10, 03:20 PM   #1
New Member
Jaehwa's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: unapologetic apathy
Posts: 34
Default Scared

My mom is going to have me going to a doctor soon to get checked for Poland's syndrome or any similar disorder. Poland's syndrome is when the pectoral muscle on one side is under developed or completely nonexistent. It can also include webbed fingers, though I don't have those. One of my breasts is very, very, very disproportionate to the other. I mean like 2+ cup sizes. It's really horrifying and embarrassing and no one can tell when I have a bra on but it's just... I will always know it's there. My breasts haven't grown any noticeable amount in a very, very long time and I started puberty very early (I got a bra at around 7) and now it's getting scary because I turn 16 in a little over a month and this hasn't evened out even slightly, if anything it has grown ever more apparent. I never look at myself naked and if I could, I would shower in the dark, but I just settle for not looking down. The only thing they could do for this is give me breast implants. One of my breasts is a B and the other is probably only an AA... I am repulsed by my own appearance from head to toe and all I can ask is what did I do to deserve this?

I'm unhealthy, I have horrible genes, and apparently also probably have a major birth deformity... I know this is a selfish way to feel but I can't help it, I'm only 15, right? I am against plastic surgery for people under 18 but it's not like I'm just pissed that my breasts are small... this is a full on deformity. This is like webbed fingers or an extra toe or something... this isn't plastic. This is a life ruiner. I am somewhat body dysmorphic so when I (humiliating as it was, no one has seen me shirtless since I was at most 6 years old) had my mom check for me and her tell me that yes, this definitely appeared to be a serious difference... my hopes were crushed. I wanted this to just be something I was self conscious about that no one else could see, but I look in the mirror and this is full on concrete, no beating around the bush.

It's such a big difference my mom is worried about it and wants me to see a doctor and says she will let me have a boob job if it is what I want, and I have to say that of course it is what I want. It is one thing to have a small difference in breast size, MOST women have that... but most women don't have a difference from breast to breast that could put them in a freak show or looks like something out of a horror movie. I am not being dramatic here. God, I'm scared. I don't want to die alone but no one would have someone that looks like this... it's repulsive. I feel less than human.
listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
it still hurts thinking of you.
i think of you every time my heart beats.
Jaehwa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-10, 01:09 AM   #2
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 23

It sounds like you are going through such a hard time and I could never relate, but I can sympathize for your situation. Being only 15 and having to deal with this must be extremely hard. If getting plastic surgery will make things more manageable, then by all means do it, especially if you have the opportunity to do so. Since it is something that you are against until age 18 then that is your call complexity. 3 years may not seem like a long time, but those are your high school years and for some people those are the longest years of their life. But there are issues with your body developing more properly through those years... you're in a tight spot and i wish you the best of luck with which ever decision you make.
Vaden is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-10, 11:58 PM   #3
Junior Member
Drake's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Portugal or In some dark corner of my mind
Posts: 54
My Mood:

I second everything Vaden says and I add this:
You should totally get that doctor exam or whatever they do, the exam won't change the fact that you have some desiese or not and you're better off knowing.
As for breast implants you should totally get them if, and only if, you'll feel better about yourself.
Good luck and wish you the best. (((Jaehwa)))
Why Won't You Answer...
Drake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-10, 07:33 PM   #4
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 23

Any update Jaehwa?
Vaden is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:59 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2