thank you for reading my post UN. i know..when i think of my posts and how i am up and down then level then waaay down, it is exhausting. i'm just trying to be grown up and accept the breakup and be mature about it and not be mad about or hurt by it, but then the feelings of extreme loneliness take over and i break.
on the menopause issue, i really think it is contributing hugely to my emotions. i've done some reading, and it sounds like the extreme emotions are a big part of it, and the breakup was a very untimely contributor as well. i am going to call my Gyn tomorrow to get some more info on hormone replacement therapy. in the meantime, i am increasing my zoloft by 50 mg for a few days. i've been "authorized" by my doc to do that but not for any lengthy period.
regarding the ex, i emailed him friday and told him i was cutting ties for a while until i got healthy. whether that works out or not remains to be seen, but at this point i've got no choice.
to take care of myself, i began the p90x program, 2 weeks ago, but just really began to do it with a focus on myself and NOT just going through the motions. today during the kenpo segment, i imagined punching and kicking my ex and his new gf. not to be mean, but they weren't there, and forcing that anger out was an amazing release. i also have a getting over relationship mp3 i purchased. it's a little hard to identify with because it wants me to envision this relationship in the future where it is actually the past like other past painful experiences that i have had that no longer get an emotional rise out of me. i'm sticking with it, until it works or doesn't and then i'll find something else.
in the matter of 2 days i have yet again gone from one emotional extreme to the other. i am rational and calm about this now. god help me tomorrow.
i really think it helps us all when someone just plain responds to our threads or posts. that's why this site is here, to get some help. if people read and pass on by without at least offering a huggy smiley or something, it really intensifies the anxiety one feels. so, again, i thank you U.N. for giving me that comfort.