think maybe you might try a new doctor.
she doesn't sound very professional, at least in your described experience.
it's wrong to tell a woman that about a pap smear, and Idk that it's true anyway. pap smears are always uncomfortable, I think, regardless of how much you've had sex.. some docs are worse than others though.
I had a new doc do one a couple months ago, and Idk if it was his first, but it was way worse than anyone else. most docs I've felt a bit uncomfortable for a few minutes, but that's about it.
I think it's beneficial to find a doc that you like.
but you did nothing wrong with asking for a pap smear. rather, it's a good thing you did. If yours looks 100% fine, women are supposed to get them every 2 years I think. stupid to make a patient feel bad about asking though. it's such a personal test..