my boyfriend said he'll dump me if i never go down on him..
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my boyfriend said he'll dump me if i never go down on him..

This is a discussion on my boyfriend said he'll dump me if i never go down on him.. within the Female Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; yeah. that's basically it. it's not like i don't do that. i just hesitated at first and it was my ...

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Old 09-26-09, 09:45 AM   #1
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Default my boyfriend said he'll dump me if i never go down on him..

yeah. that's basically it. it's not like i don't do that. i just hesitated at first and it was my first sexual experience whatsoever. i thought he'd understand. then i did it anyway because he was pressuring me and accusing me of lying and screwing him over(before that we'd talked about it and it seemed okay to me to do that and i said i would but when we actually got together(we're in a long distance relationship) i couldn't do it right away). But then apparently even that wasn't enough to him. I had to be really enjoying it a lot. I told him i needed time and it'd be the way he wants eventually. he never really completely believed that. he's older than me. i thought he'd understand. then when we talked about that later it made things much worse when he suddenly dropped the line about breaking up because we're not "sexually compatible". this is how it was to put it MILDLY.. i feel embarassed and hurt because i honestly did everything i could to make him happy. we had that conversation almost a month ago and i'm still not over it. what do you guys think. he's saying i'm the egoistic one.
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Old 09-26-09, 09:51 AM   #2
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Only thing you should say to him is "see ya." He is a total douchebag and you would be better off without him.
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Old 09-26-09, 09:58 AM   #3
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yeah... then he was acting like he was all so reasonable. and said how it'd be a deal breaker to most americans. maybe he just doesn't get it. We've been together for 2 years now and i just love him so much..i don't know if i can ever break up with him. and we're fine most of the time. but yeah when that happened. i was past crying. past being depressed. i was just wondering what to do now.
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Old 09-26-09, 10:03 AM   #4
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Anyone who doesn't respect or value your feelings is not worth being with, no matter how much you love him. He gave you an ultimatum based on his selfish desires, with no consideration of how you may be feeling. This is an abusive relationship, and it's doing you harm. I know it's hard to walk away, but in the long run that's probably going to be a lot better than staying with someone who doesn't respect you. Believe me, there are other people out there for you.
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Old 09-26-09, 10:10 AM   #5
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right now i don't even feel like i have any more energy to do something like that. it just made me numb. and i'm simply going with the flow wherever it takes me. i hope i end up where i belong. what amazes me most is how he thought i was the selfish one. and was talking about HIS feelings and HIMSELF being hurt and feeling rejected, misled and lied to. that's something i never ever expected to experience. i thought he was better than that.
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Old 09-26-09, 10:14 AM   #6
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dump his ass first seriously make him understand that just ain't you if you don't do that and he can step if he can't accept it.
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Old 09-26-09, 10:26 AM   #7
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right now my world pretty much revolves around him so that'd be something equal to an extremal self abuse lol. i wish i wasn't so attached.
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Old 09-26-09, 10:52 AM   #8
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If my boyfriend did something like that to me, I would walk out right then and there. Yes, I am attached to him, and I love him a lot, but none of that would matter if he were to mistreat me in such a way. The same goes for you, Space. You need to drop his ass before it gets worse. You may view, "I'll dump you if you don't go down on me" as something simple now... but think about it. It may get worse. What if that turns into something like, "Do this or I'll kill you." What you've got is an abusive relationship, and believe me, hun, it's not going to get any better. I know you love him, but you need to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. He has no right to give you an ultimatum like that.
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Old 09-26-09, 11:47 AM   #9
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alright. i'll try to do the right thing..
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Old 09-26-09, 11:53 AM   #10
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The message is clear. 'My base needs are more important than your feelings'
'I'm prepared to put our relationship of 2 years on the line so my cock can get sucked the way I want because it matters more to me than any feelings your fucking beating heart has. Lucky me that you love me too much to let go. Keeping sucking....'

I'm sorry you think you are not worth more than this. I hope that you will have a change of mind

((((hugs))))
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