I have no libido
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I have no libido

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Old 11-20-14, 06:02 AM   #1
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Default I have no libido

I don't know what's wrong with me. I have absolutely no sexual interest or drive. I've been like this for a long time due to depression and antidepressants but it's gotten a lot worse over the last 6 months or so.

I never have any desire for sex with my boyfriend or even any kind of sexual thoughts about anyone. I've tried watching porn even and that doesn't even interest me anymore. I honestly never even think about sex and it feels like a chore.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
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Old 11-20-14, 01:21 PM   #2
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Some people are just that way. It is normal.

Just a question, do you like to cuddle with him, kiss him, or show any kind of affection to him?

Also, do you feel pleasure during sex, when/if you forced yourself to do it?
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Old 11-21-14, 11:52 PM   #3
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I like to cuddle but that's about it really. Even when we are having sex it feels good but I still don't really feel into it. I hate being like this.
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Old 11-22-14, 12:05 AM   #4
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i dont know if this is helpful,

but i regularly go weeks to months with no libido. often punctuated by . . . intense desire in between.
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Old 11-22-14, 01:14 AM   #5
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Can you talk to him about it? It might make you feel less uncomfortable if it bothers you and maybe he can help.
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Old 11-22-14, 01:48 AM   #6
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Maybe erotic novels or video games would help get you in the mood without it being as graphic and gratuitous as porn. Perhaps if you can still get pleasure from it, scheduling masturbation either with or without your partner could help reminding you often of how good it feels.

Antidepressants can be pretty hard on someone's libido or sexual organs so it's very common among the depressed and anxious folks who are all prescribed such medication.
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Old 11-23-14, 03:04 AM   #7
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Thanks all, really appreciate your advice!

I have spoken to him about it, but only really in the sense that he complains that I never want sex. He doesn't understand, and I don't blame him really.

I'll try to take some of your tips on board :)

Thanks again xx
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Old 11-23-14, 05:04 PM   #8
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You mentioned that your libido has gone down significantly in the past 6 months - I think what you said in this post is a large part of it. Your emotional state plays a huge role in your sex drive. If you're fighting a lot with your partner, or your relationship is strained, that can really affect your libido.

Have you talked to your doctor about this? They might be able to change your meds, or give you something that will counteract the side effects of your current meds.

I know everyone's different here, but for me, exercise helps a ton in all areas of sexuality. Cardiovascular exercise boosts one's mood, and weight lifting increases testosterone, which can boost libido for both men and women. Spending more time relaxing, or doing things that make you happy should boost your libido a bit too.

You could also try supplements to raise your libido. You should be able to find some well-reviewed ones like this pretty easily on amazon.

Trying to change your motivation for having sex could help too... long-winded instructions can be found here.
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Old 01-09-15, 04:56 PM   #9
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Hi there. I find when I am dealing with a period of stress, my libido goes way down. It's no mystery why I start feeling amorous about a week into a vacation - it's like I'm so relaxed my body's rhythms start kicking in again - including the libido.

Someone here mentioned exercise and I've found that to be very helpful. It's like when the blood gets pumping everything comes "alive" again, including desire.

Also, I think women's sex drives can change over our lives. My sexual pleasure was different in my 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. And I have some friends who say the same.

I do not want to generalize here, but when I talk with other women about their sex drive, many of us find there are differences between what turns us on and what turns men on. Another one of life's cruel jokes!

It's also important to get to know our own bodies and rhythms so we can unlock some of the secrets to our very personal sex drive. I don't know about you, but nobody ever taught me about female pleasure until I was in the thick of adulthood! Talk about female sexuality was taboo in my generation, and even in some cultures today, girls aren't encouraged to explore their own healthy sexuality. For years I thought there was something wrong with me because what I saw people enjoying in movies and in some porn just left me cold. I kept thinking, a few strokes and a woman is supposed to climax just like that? Puh-leeze!

I have come to suspect that a lot of the entertainment industry (Hollywood and porn) has again screwed up another part of human experience - and put pressure on us with fake norms and standards about female sexuality. I even had one friend tell me that her boyfriend said to her once, "How come you don't act like the chicks in porn do?" That would earn a person a crack on the side of the head if any man ever compared my sexuality to that of paid actresses!

Please do not put more pressure on yourself to "perform" - cuz that can douse the libido fire too. Try to relax and approach this with an outlook of curiosity and daring to experiment. If you rule out a medical problem, it could very well be that your sex drive has changed a bit and something new or different might get that fire burning hot again.

Hope things get better for you. If they do, you don't have to post pictures or anything for us! We'll take your word for it!
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Old 01-11-15, 09:34 AM   #10
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i've never had much of a libido either. my previous partners have never quite understood but sex just doesn't interest me at all. i sometimes have stages where sex is all i can think about but it's brief and happens very rarely. seeing sexual gifs on tumblr actually makes me very uncomfortable and triggers a lot of negative feelings for me.

i would say it's quite normal. some people enjoy sex and others don't. some people can go right off it due to any number of circumstances. there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. you shouldn't be with someone who pressures you into sexual situations that you are not comfortable with. i've been there myself and you don't want to be made to feel guilty over something you have no control over. maybe you should try explain to him that feeling pressured into sex is driving you in the opposite direction and that he should let you come to him and initiate when you feel like you're ready or up for it.

good luck and i hope you figure it out.

x
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