i just got home from work. i'm bawling my eyes out, and i'm not sure i can pinpoint why. i feel very alone at this moment. more so than normal for me. i'm a mentor at work. i have trained numerous employees on a rigorous training schedule that takes around 4 months. my current trainee has made great progress and shows a lot of potential. i find out today that as soon as his training cycle is over, he plans to transfer out of the department because of me. i'm mean. i snapped at him one day, and now he's planning to leave because of me. wtf? really? going to transfer from our department because of me? i'm mean? grow a set of balls and quit crying you stupid little girl. we work in a high stress, fast paced, demanding environment. you are going to get eaten alive if you think I
am mean. i don't spend 4 months training someone who continues to need his hand held. for fuck sake.... dude you are 31 years old!! AND my best friend hasn't called me in weeks because she is mad that i'm buying a house and she (in her own little world) planned to retire, buy a house and she and i would live together. not my plan. i am not gay, she is. we have been friends for 7 years, and now she decides i crushed her dream? scuze the hell out of me, i am as straight as they come, love men and men's companionship, etc. i don't know what she's pissed at because she is well aware of my preference. big reality check for her or something? AND so i AM buying this house, i close this week, and i guess it's a lot more pressure on me than i thought. AND cherry on the sundae, i snapped at a vendor at work. oh, yeah, and the sprinkles on top is menopause.. i have no patience for stupid people, i have no patience for those who seem to be unable to apply common sense to their task at work, i am exhausted with all this.