Girlfriend is depressed
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Girlfriend is depressed

This is a discussion on Girlfriend is depressed within the Female Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; For the past couple of weeks my girlfriend has been depressed and i don't know what do to help her, ...

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Old 11-06-14, 06:47 PM   #1
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Default Girlfriend is depressed

For the past couple of weeks my girlfriend has been depressed and i don't know what do to help her, I've tried reading books about it to help her but i donít think she even wants help. The reason I think she is acting like this is because I leave in January, her job, and school. She just tells me sheís stressed out about everything in her life, but I know itís more than that, the constant tiredness, telling me she wishes she could sleep forever sheís also told me how everything is moving too fast and she just wishes she could slow everything down, and so on. She talked to me a week ago about wanting to take a break from each other telling me, that me leaving is going to be hard on her and that maybe we should go different ways and maybe one day we will meet again, she says she still loves me and cares about me but it doesn't feel like it when she says she wants to take a break but still talk to each other. I wish I could help her through this but I donít think thatís what she wants, having these last 2 months to rejoice with each other and she rarely wants to see me anymore, the communication is fading and its hard on our relationship because to me it doesn't seem like she cares. We've had our problems in the past but this is something completely different, I donít know if Iím making her miserable or dragging her down or just annoying her, I have no clue. What can i do to help her get through this? I try to be there for her but she doesn't let me, it feels like she's pushing me away.
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Old 11-06-14, 07:21 PM   #2
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Speculation is the best anyone can do as no one but your girlfriend knows the truth and at times even a person themselves may not know.

Possible reasons:

1) She feels that things are moving too fast for her to assess and input her feelings into the situation. Being pressured in any way (even if its to help) can drive a person to their wits end.

2) She isn't sure if the relationship will last at its upcoming state. Some people can do fine with distance, while others can't.

3) You're not compatible. Hard to hear but some people do fine in the infatuation stage and later on realize that the relationship isn't working out. Combined with the second reason she may be trying to make things easier when you leave. A sudden separation is that much harder than one in which a process of separation has started.

4) Given that the change is recent, perhaps a personal matter (job, family, etc.) is the cause for her behaviour.
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Old 11-20-14, 06:10 AM   #3
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It sounds like to me that she is scared of change and of you being away from her. This is natural but it sounds like she doesn't possess the coping skills to deal with these feelings. It also sounds like she may be in denial about being depressed, or maybe just doesn't want to face it. Unfortunately I think this is something that she had to figure out for herself, but it's also important that she knows you're there for her.

When ppl are scared they tend to think irrational. When I am scared of getting hurt I push ppl away to prevent a greater hurt in the end. It sounds like this may be what she is doing too. She may not even realise that she is doing this or why she is doing this. Just hang in there. If things are meant to me they will work out, I'm a firm believer of that.
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