No, seriously. PMS used to be a completely foreign thing to me, I had never experienced it and was blessed with a fairly regular, uneventful cycle.
But since giving birth to baby #2, every month, seven to five days before my period I get these massive panic attacks alternating with periods of blind rage. Everyone around me is a target for the negativity that sprays out of me: my husband, my poor little kids, motorists on the street.
It usually starts with an angsty feeling as though something terrible were about to happen. I cry for no reason. Watching the news - you know, the normal bad kind, all the crap going on in the world - overwhelms me and leaves me in tears. And then one morning - every frickin month - I wake up convinced this is day X where I will kill myself. The month before last I got one leg over the side of the bridge before coming to my senses. Last month I got all the painkillers in the house and walked out the door. Luckily my husband stopped me and disposed of the pills.
This shit can't happen to me every month for the rest of my life, can it? I used to think I was an intelligent, discerning person but apparently I am a sick, crazy bundle of hormones.