Hello everyone, I don't know why but I am feeling better since last night.....anyways so I would like to share the biggest trouble of my life which is one of the main reasons of my sickness....
My dad is too lazy to earn for us....he is mentally weak and rather finds excuses to sit at home and has been doing so for the last ten years, so we were given a flat to live in our late aunt's (moms side) building without rent only as my grand parents has a share in this property (we have a right). Now all the aunts and uncles of my moms side are all damn jealous of us.....firstly because me and my sister studied in English Medium schools even though we were poor, secondly we are living here for free, thirdly they hate us the most because of the attitude and position of my dad...they are all illiterate anyway.
Now, I have suffered all my life from poverty but that does not mean I will not try to change things.....The main reason I suffer from depression is when I fail in the " I dont want to be loser anymore" mission. but here is the main deal, My Dad will stand in the way so will the relatives, Like for example if they come to know that we are living a little better than other times they would start all their conspiracy to drive us out.
I want to start my life over again and forget all the pain and the hardships of the past, even though I have a little income I managed to save up to buy a motorcycle which I am crazy about, maybe that way I can be more confident and I can attract a girl more easily because not only I am middle-class but I am also very terrible looking....secondly I can go to the offices that are far from my area where I can do good jobs...I mean I can feel a bit of success that I have achieved...but my late aunts son who is the heir of the property wont let me....He is a drug dealer in our area, and he always has his clan of addicts after me whose job is to pick a fight with me, beat me up, insult me when ever they sees me...last time I bought a bike they threatened to burn it and the drug dealer wont let me keep it in the garage so I sold the piece of my heart off.
Don't mention about the police here because this country is so corrupt that he has good relation with the police station of this area, besides the police here wont move a finger without bribe and traps innocent people. I cant change my house either because as I said I have a right to stay here and I cant afford other houses.
But yet I dream to buy a bike again and start a revolution, now
Is it a good idea to get soldiers force them to respect me?
(they do not have like that mafioso stuff, street dogs...more in number...heroin addicts)
guys don't worry because I used to be a Gangster at teen age.
If not then what to do? because If I cant change things here I will keep on falling sick...