I understand a little more about your life, and I want to tell you that I hate that you are going through this. You are a very strong person, and no matter what you face in life you are equipped to handle it. I know that I can never really understand what you are going through, or how difficult your life really is. I won't pretend that I can, or assume that I know what you need to do to make things better. But what I can do is be here to listen, and remind you that you are a great person, and your family does not deserve you.

At some point your life will get better, just hold on to that hope until it happens. Don't give up on finding a job in your field of study, be persistent, contact those companies weekly, until they get annoyed enough to give you an interview. You have my best wishes, I'm sending you positive thoughts, and if you ever need to talk just keep posting here. You have people in your corner, cheering for you, let that thought help you to stay positive.