Toxic parent or not?
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Toxic parent or not?

This is a discussion on Toxic parent or not? within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Whew this may be a bit long but here goes nothing. I’m 28 years old with a 9 yr old ...

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Old 07-13-19, 05:38 PM   #1
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Default Toxic parent or not?

Whew this may be a bit long but here goes nothing. I’m 28 years old with a 9 yr old son. Currently living @ home with my mom and a few others. My mom has been out of work for a few years now. Myself and another party in the household are splitting the bills. She still wants to act like she’s the authoritative figure and gives me no respect as an adult who contributes. She makes myself and others feel less than at times. My personal life is sometimes intercepted and I feel like I have no privacy. I’m now a women who needs her own space for herself and her child. However if I do leave, I know she won’t be able to afford paying half the bills so I dont want to do that to her out of respect and consideration. I know it would also be hard going out there on my own to raise a child as a single parent but I made a pretty decent career for myself. She helped me raise my son , since I was a young teen mother. So sometimes certain things are thrown in my face (what she did for me, how I’m unappreciative, etc) but I feel she uses that more because she knows she can’t provide the way she used to. Am I being selfish and ungrateful for wanting to flee for what I now feel is a toxic lifestyle? I’m super depressed, anxious etc and just don’t know what to do at this point. I’m scared to speak up sometimes because I know it will turn into a huge argument with her and I’m for the most part a peace maker. I have stood up for myself plenty of times but I’m learning to just let things be since she is my mother. She hasn’t been motivated to look for work, so everybody has just let her be. I think she has this mentality of I took care of you , so now it’s your turn to take care of me. Any thoughts ? Suggestions? Ideas? I feel so stuck and don’t know what to do with my life.
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Old 09-12-19, 12:03 PM   #2
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I'm in the similar situation as you with some differences, you are not struggling alone. I am also stuck and lost with my life. I can't think of any suggestions now, but two things - be positive and optimistic.
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Old 09-12-19, 05:40 PM   #3
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Yes, she sounds toxic.

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Old 09-13-19, 02:50 AM   #4
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This situation might be detrimental to your mental health.
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Old 09-21-19, 03:31 PM   #5
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Hello, SensualGirl, I appreciate that you try to help by sharing this video on how to deal with difficult and toxic people, but I disagree with this guy, Leo Gura in the video, because this guy is a swindler and brainwashing fanatic who pretends to be a professional psychologist. Actually, he is a first year college dropout of mechanical engineering turning to psychology; his life is no better than anyone - a desperate man cheats people for money (for his living and his study etc.); by the time he graduates he will have more tricks up his sleeve. So please next time don't share or use his stuff, it's bad for you and anyone else in TTL.

Search and read about it in the RationalWiki or Google for Leo Gura scam.
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