Tired Of My Mom's Favoritism
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Tired Of My Mom's Favoritism

This is a discussion on Tired Of My Mom's Favoritism within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; My mother has always seemed to favor my asshole brother over me. Yesterday was no exception. Sunday I took her ...

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Old 01-11-16, 04:56 AM   #1
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Default Tired Of My Mom's Favoritism

My mother has always seemed to favor my asshole brother over me. Yesterday was no exception. Sunday I took her out to eat because in late December she took me out to eat at Red Lobster which is a favorite restaurant of mine so to return the favor I asked her to come with me for dinner. Now granted I took her to a little bit cheaper of a restaurant than Red Lobster but I am on a fixed income and she has more money than me. We passed Joe's Crab Shack and I mentioned I wished I could go there because I haven't been there in years and she said, "well you could take me there because I took you to Red Lobster." Joe's Crab Shack is kind of high priced though, at least for the meal I was going to order so I took her to a place where you can get a meal for $10. Like I said, I'm on a fixed income and I least I took her out to eat and treated her and that's better than not taking her anywhere at all. But this is the part that bothers me. She didn't even say thank you. I told her thank you when she took me out to eat. Yet my asshole brother took her out to eat (without me of course) to Olive Garden a few days earlier and she thanked him not once but twice. And the way she said it in such a sweet way was enough to make me sick. She's like, "thanks again for taking me out to eat." "At least somebody cares." She didn't even thank me at all. From what my mother told me, her mother always favored her sister over her and yet here my mom is making the same mistakes her own mother made. Now granted I know my mom's not the most loving, supportive, or compassionate of mothers out there and maybe I could have cut her a little slack for her own mothers screw-ups but my mother should have learned from her own mothers screw-ups. So that's no excuse.


And it's not like my brother is even a good son and he's DAMN sure not a good brother but I'm not getting into that right now. Anytime something breaks on her car or breaks around the house he won't lift one damn finger to come and look at it for her to see if he can fix it or not yet rushes his ass over to the house to borrow money from my mom. And in the summer my mother has complained about bushes and trees growing in bad places where trees and bushes shouldn't be and he won't come over to cut them down even though he lives a couple blocks away and has the equipment that could cut those trees and bushes in 5 or 10 minutes. Chain saw, weed whacker, etc. But it's like he can do no wrong in her eyes. It angers me and even more so makes me so sad and tearful that a parent loves one child more than the other. A truly good mother loves all her kids equally. Then like I said above, she thanked my brother so much over him taking her to Olive Garden it's like he saved her life or something.
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Old 01-11-16, 05:16 AM   #2
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And I just wanted to add a little more to the post above. Another thing that shows what a selfish, inconsiderate asshole my brother is was the days the 3 of us lived together. (Me, my mom and my so-called brother). She always worked a 7 in the morning shift which means she had to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready and he would just about keep her up all night long playing music, watching the tv too loud, laughing loudly on the phone with a friend of his, and even vacuuming. Now he knows she's a super light sleeper and a feather hitting the floor could wake her up yet he did all these asshole things. Plus at the time we lived in a super small, Cracker Jack box size house and the walls were paper thin which means she heard everything even more. Yet she says nothing bad about him like he can do no wrong. And at night she even admitted I'm super quiet at night and make no noise whatsoever. Yeah, that's called being respectful and considerate which my brother is not. Yet she's say something bad about me at the drop of a hat. Like one quick example. She says I sleep all the time. I've literally heard him tell people when she thought I wasn't listening, "sometimes I leave for work in the morning and she's sleeping and when I come home from work she's still sleeping after I worked an 8 hour shift." Well I'm severely depressed and I have a super judgmental family that loves putting me down so sleeping a lot is a way I deal with my emotional pain. God knows I have no support from family whatsoever. And besides, isn't using sleep to cope with my illness a better way to deal with it than turning to drugs, alcohol, or sleeping around? They can't ever see the good in anything I do.

Last edited by flame; 01-11-16 at 05:19 AM.
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Old 05-16-18, 03:49 AM   #3
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I've come to the sad realization that no matter what I do, no matter how good of a person I try to be, or a good daughter I try to be, or what a good life I try to live, it simply won't matter because my stupid ass family will always talk about me in a negative way. They will always see me in a negative light. And my so called mom will always show her stupid favoritism like she did tonight.... again. My stupid ass brother puts me down and made his usual stupid comments about me being lazy. There's a fucking difference between being severely depressed and being lazy and I'm just super depressed, not that any of those assholes ever cared. understood, or offered me even a drop of emotional support. First of all my mother has been going to tons of appointments due to her declining health and I took her to every last one and yet my piece of shit brother calls me lazy. She had surgery recently and I say for 5 and a half hours waiting for her and a couple years back she had a couple eye surgeries and I waited at least for hours for her to have surgery and recover. Through all this shit I was the ONLY one in the waiting room waiting for her and this idiot mother of mine lets this piece of shit call me lazy. He always got a fucking comment about me not working. If I had a fucking job this stupid bullshit family would still be talking shit about me because that's the type of people they are. He says, "if you ever need a ride I can take you although I don't see why that lazy ass wouldn't be able to take you." "She doesn't do anything all day." Another stupid shot at me for not working like so fucking what. Plenty of people don't work and live on SSI and I bet their families don't look down their noses at them for it. And I got plenty of shit to do. I have to go to the store for food, make something to eat, feed my cats, do laundry, cut the grass and if I thought about it I could probably mention more things. And this piece of shit is all talk. He's one of those people who talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. One thing people never learn is that talking aint doing. Actions speak louder than words. And calling me a lazy ass aint nothing compared to all the extremely hurtful shit he's called me over the years. All while my mom stands by and does nothing and says nothing. He does nothing for her whatsoever but turns around and calls me useless. Back when the weather was still cold my mom paid 100 dollars to have someone replace our filter for the heater and that's something that piece of shit should have been doing for his mother for free. Never took her to one appointment or was there for any of her surgeries but I was. He shoots off his mouth about everybody's shortcomings but never see's his own. Can't stand people like that and let's face it, this world is full of them. Plus I always do not only my laundry but hers as well. Not because she asked me to, I just do it out of the kindness of my heart. I get so fucking sick of being talked about in a negative way and her ass does nothing. I feel I should stand up for myself one of these days because this shit has been going on for too long. But at the same time I know if I stand up for myself it won't matter, she will always be on his side. Plus it won't change anything. Her ass can't even tell me thank you for taking her to her appointments yet tells these nurses thank you after sticking her with needles. Stupid. I wish I could move to fucking Mars to get away from that piece of shit negative family of mine. If I could I would. I'm doing everything I can for my mom yet she doesn't appreciate it yet tells my brother thank you just for calling her to check in on her like how hard is it to pick up a phone for a few minutes? I'm doing all the real work but as always I'm getting the most criticism. I could go on and on but will stop here because it's bringing me down too much to think about all this shit.

Last edited by flame; 05-16-18 at 03:53 AM.
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Old 05-16-18, 04:26 AM   #4
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Then this fat piece of shit called me fat many times over the years and look at him. He's so fat that I overheard him telling my mom that his doctor recommended he get gastric bypass surgery. And this asshole calls me fat? He's the fat one. I got a little extra weight but I'm not that bad. There's people way bigger than me yet their families are still supportive and I get mega depressed that I never had a loving, caring, understanding, supportive family. All I know is judgment, criticism, and put downs. ANd besides, for the most part I'm comfortable with how I look. I mean I have my bad days like anyone does but most days I don't have that big of a problem with how I look. I'm fucking attractive and my opinion is the only one that should matter. You would think a family would be supportive of their sister or daughter or whoever. At the end of the day as long as a person feels good about themselves then that's all that matters. Why the hell do we all have to fucking look the same to be accepted anyway? That's one of the problems with the world today. Anything that looks a touch different... clothes, makeup, weight, hair, glasses, braces and people make fun of it. It's bad enough there's so many asshole people in this world as it is but you would think the very people who are supposed to love you no matter what would be there for you. You know, family. But in my case they have really hurt me more than anybody and that's sad because like I said, a family should protect you from all the bullshit in this world and all these asshole people in it. I never make fun of anybody's looks (God knows I could) but I'm not that type of person. I say to each his own. Live and let live, And that's all I ever asked for in return but never got. People have always said mean things about me and it especially hurts when it comes from my own family. He has called me a clown and said I wear too much makeup. So fucking what if I wear full makeup. Or I express myself a certain way, SO FUCKING WHAT! I am my own person. And that's another side note, I told my mom it was hurtful when he says I look like a clown. Her response? "You can't take constructive criticism." I don't call name calling constructive criticism. And he's a fucking hypocrite to the max, always has been in more ways than one. I wear too much makeup yet he compliments whores like Pamela Anderson and says she's hot and this slut wears way more makeup than I do with heavy grayish eyeshadow, heavy eyeliner, fake eyelashes, heavy peachy blush, and red or hot pink lipstick. Now that's a fucking clown. Not to mention the fake breasts and bleached fake blonde hair. He can be supportive of a whore he don't know but can't be supportive of his own sister. Fuck this stupid world. Bottom line is I'm ok with how I look.... clothes, makeup, hair, and even my body most of the time. So if the world don't like it fuck them. Do I say shit about these whores and their skanky tramp stamp tattoos or their revealing clothes that I see all the time or their nasty piercings like nose, eyebrows, tongue, yuck. I don't judge them so why do I get judged. People need to mind their own damn business anyway. If what I'm doing doesn't affect you or your life then why the hell do you care how I look, where I go, who I date, what I do? Screw this world.

Last edited by flame; 05-16-18 at 04:30 AM.
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Old 05-17-18, 09:12 PM   #5
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Old 05-18-18, 02:22 AM   #6
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Flame, you are a scapegoat in your family...Sorry to tell you this.
Check some youtube videos about narcissistic mothers and daughters. It should help you process some of what's going on in your life.

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The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place. And I don't care how tough you are, it'll beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You'll be a nobody. It's going to hit as hard as life. But it's not about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward...

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Old 05-31-18, 03:27 AM   #7
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Yesterday was my mother's birthday and for the first time ever I didn't even tell her happy birthday and probably won't ever say it again. She never tells me happy birthday when it's my birthday and I was always hurt by that. Well I'm going to start doing to others what they do to me. In the past I always said happy birthday to her but when its my birthday she never says happy birthday so this year I didn't say it to her. And this is probably going to be the way it is from now on. Yet her golden child (my asshole brother) called and said happy birthday and she said, "oh thank you so much sweetie." Gag me. I get so sick of being nice and always ending up getting the short end of the stick. Well no fucking more. I take her to all her dialysis appointments, pick her up from them also, usually always say happy birthday with the exception of this year, mow the grass, went to get money orders for her to pay bills, and I can go on and on and on. Yet she can't even say fucking thank you. But she will tell my brother thank you for simply picking up a phone and saying happy birthday as if that was so hard. All I wanted was to feel loved and appreciated by her but I see that will never ever happen. In her eyes I will always be the bad seed and my brother will always be the golden child, let her tell it. And he does absolutely NOTHING FOR HER! That's what kills me. Never takes her to no appointments, never helps her if something goes wrong with her car, wasn't there in the waiting room when they took her in to surgery or when she came out of surgery when she had two eye surgeries or two fistula surgeries , barely calls her, and this past winter she paid $100 to pay some guy to put in a freaking filter so we can get some heat and that's something her precious son should have done for her for free, and I could go on and on and on. She never puts him down like I overheard her doing to me plenty of times. Then when people talk shit about me she never defends me but when people have said shit about her I always took her side even if what they say is true yet she can't do the same for me. Screw her.

Last edited by flame; 05-31-18 at 03:31 AM.
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Old 07-23-21, 12:01 AM   #8
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I have always had issues of mother favoring some of my brothers over me especially being a girl during my adulthood. It has hurt a lot over the last several years, and I have come to rely on outside support instead of her for consolation. After a while, I got tired of feeling compared to them when it came to accomplishments and feeling less and not feeling like I mattered. I wish I could heal from this even though I have tried prayer to help me heal. Prayer didn't seem to do me much good at all there. I always felt that I was gloated over when I was mired in sadness and part of me just wanted to be left alone and make things go better for again. I just got so damn tired of being called selfish and a spoiled brat. I've learned not to attach myself emotionally unless I have genuine support that's truly from the heart. I have decided that I'm not going to feel beneath them when it comes to how well life is working out. That's when you realize you have to be your own driver. I realize that God made me special and it would be a shame to waste my life in this manner. It's just that I have some terrible memories of not getting support when i was being bullied and told it was my fault, and the times when I was compared to someone else who she thought was 'better'. I wish there was a better way I could heal. I have tried to get on with life. The trouble is those memories come back in times of stress. I think there might come a time when I won't keep reliving them.
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