My Life Is In Ruins
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My Life Is In Ruins

This is a discussion on My Life Is In Ruins within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; My family is only simple. It only, of course, consists of my mother, father, my little brother and me myself. ...

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Old 06-07-16, 05:14 AM   #1
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My family is only simple. It only, of course, consists of my mother, father, my little brother and me myself. However, when my father died, things have been turning down.


It all started when we were at the mall with my mother. While we were out shopping, my mother received a call from an unknown caller (my father's boss in Australia, since he worked there). The caller said that my father collapsed while at his work. Me and my mother, rushed out to find a vehicle and hurriedly come home.


We have a PC, and my mother was concerned of what happened, so she chatted my father about what's happening. My father didn't reply so I can see that my mother is in a state of panic. About 5 hours later, my mother won't get off her cellphone and tried calling my father's boss. Later, we received a call that they did everything they can to my father, and then he passed away.


My mother cried, something that I haven't seen in my life. I tried calming her down, but I couldn't do anything so I too cried. That's when my life has turned into shambles.


My father passed away 10 days before my birthday so I couldn't move on easily. While it's my first day in school, I kept crying that my mother told our teacher that I should just get to school in another day or two.


Just about 1 or 2 weeks later, my father's boss (his name is Luke) came to Philippines and wanted to meet with me and my mother.


Before my father passed away, he promised me an iOS once he gets home back. If he didn't passed away, I would have a good life living in Australia since he also promised us that we live in Australia.


Luke gave us enough money to buy an iOS since that was my father's promise. He was kind that he gave me a free dessert to cool my head off with bad memories. We then bought an iOS thanks to my father's boss, Luke.


About 2 years later, I noticed that my mother has some application download on our iOS, and most of this apps are dating apps and Skype and other apps that involves chatting and some other.


Then about some weeks, I saw my mother chatting on a boy he met on the internet. I asked who is he and responded that he is someone she met on the net.


Then about few months, while I was alone in the house, I heard a horn. It was my mother from shopping. I noticed that she had someone with her, and it was a guy. His name is Jorge. I asked my mother who he is but she didn't say nothing, so I just didn't mind.


Then in another day, alone in our house again, my aunt and uncle visited us. While I was playing PC, my aunt said something important about my mother.
She said that I should never let my mother re-marry. This is also something I noticed with my mother, as she kept asking me if I should re-marry. I listened to my aunt and uncle and they both said that if my mother will re-marry, maybe the guy that my mother will marry is only after money. They
then left me alone in house.


In a yet another day, one of my aunt also said the same thing that my other aunt said.


They kept saying it to me that I don't let my mother re-marry. They said that the guy that my mother will re-marry maybe only after money.





Right now, I don't really know what to do to keep my mother from re-marrying. Every passing day, I feel like I wanna die. I wanna end my life in shambles. I received a call from my aunt and asked why my mother is always out of our house with Jorge. She told me that I need to do something but I don't really know what to do. It also hurts for me to think that my mother will re-marry since my father was a humble, and a kind man.

I really need your help on telling me what to do.

Any suggestions would be helpful.
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Old 06-07-16, 10:20 AM   #2
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I am sorry that you lost your father too soon.

You are not meant to tell your mother what to do. Your Aunts are misguided in making this your burden but probably concerned for you and afraid to confront your mother directly.

You seem to be an intelligent, sensitive, kind and humble person, perhaps like your father. Your life has yet to be lived. Your job is to take care of your own health, study hard and be willing to work hard. Your job is to honor your family and grow up and move on.

It is time, perhaps, for you to dialogue with your mother. Share your feelings and concerns and listen to what she has to say. She is lonely for a companion. Find out more about her thinking and feeling. And learn more about Jorge. Things may not be as they seem to your aunts.

You are challenged now but your life is not in ruins. May all be well for you as you grow into a kind and wise adult. You should be sleeping in The Philippines as I write this. Sleep well.
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Old 06-07-16, 11:34 AM   #3
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Thanks, but I haven't really mentioned everything that is happening in my life but I appreciate it.
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Old 11-21-16, 02:34 PM   #4
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Thanks, this resonated with me very well, it sucks when your parents dont listen
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Old 11-21-16, 03:09 PM   #5
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I'm sorry to hear you lost your father, there's nothing you can do to stop your mother remarrying, your aunts need to be the ones to voice their concerns to her, they shouldn't expect you to voice their concerns unless you think the same as them
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