Maybe I shouldn't have been born.
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Family Issues


Maybe I shouldn't have been born.

This is a discussion on Maybe I shouldn't have been born. within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I don't know why the hell I was born if I was such a confused, potentially aggressive autistic child and ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-21-21, 12:03 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 19
My Mood:
Default Maybe I shouldn't have been born.

I don't know why the hell I was born if I was such a confused, potentially aggressive autistic child and a girl on top of that. Autism can show up horribly in females. I don't know why I feel that way but I do. I always got that vibe from family that I was such a negative and bratty child. I didn't realize how much trouble I was. I would run away and then I would hide in a corner. It looked like I was a pretty fucking selfish little cunt at that who didn't seem to want to socilize with other peers, would never share, and gladly I was a bit of a skinny runt too. laughs. Anyone could tell I would probably be really fucking worthless when I grew up. laughs. I feel I'm rather unaccomplished compared to several members of the family as an adult. Mother would often compare me to them and it has made me boil to the core. I hope she faces God with her baggage towards me when she goes. I would love for him to judge her. laughs. Maybe she can't escape it this time. It looked like I was a favorite when I was a kid because they all wanted so much to help me function, and I eventually did. But as an adult, it seemed I fell out of favor and felt more alienated as time went on. I eventually found out that at least one sibling was jealous of me and I really couldn't blame them because I got so much attention. I didn't realize this until later. It was some kind of sad story I was a fucking burden that they should have given to someone else who could handle it better. Part of me swears I wouldn't want autism to infect my family again. I realize I was a real tragedy that could have been prevented. I'm beginning to think maybe God punished this girl they got with autism when one child before her wasn't a girl Dad wanted, and that maybe Dad wasn't thankful for that boy they got. Part of me has felt there for a while as a consequence that I would have gladly died by accident because then they could have gotten that burden off their hands for once.
Notspecial is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2