idk where this goes, but anyway
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idk where this goes, but anyway

This is a discussion on idk where this goes, but anyway within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I had a miscarriage 4 months ago. I ignored the pregnancy, and the miscarriage, was relieved when I did miscarry, ...

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Old 01-06-09, 02:15 AM   #1
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I had a miscarriage 4 months ago. I ignored the pregnancy, and the miscarriage, was relieved when I did miscarry, because I would have had to have had an abortion anyway. I have only just told my boyfriend (the would have been father) who is upset I did not tell him, but he is not angry.

Anyway, what I want help with is, how to get passed it, I feel it is my fault, and I feel like I terminated the pregnancy, which is what I would have done anyway :(.
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Old 01-06-09, 03:39 PM   #2
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my first thought is that u should go to the doctor & make sure that physically everything is ok & gone, how far along were you?
i don't think u should blame yourself. you didn't terminate, it just happened. the decision was out of your hands. and for all you know, you might have backed out last minute, i've heard stories of people who do. you really don't know for sure. maybe see it as a sign to look at the present & future? if you aren't ready to have a child, you need better birth control, so that's good to talk to your doctor about, too.
i'mm sorry you are going through this ((((((((hugs)))))))))
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Old 01-06-09, 03:47 PM   #3
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I agree with Blue Girl. Get yourself checked. Talk to your doctor about seeing someone if you are finding it difficult to move on right now. You may be experiencing problems emotionally reconciling how you felt about your situation and the fact that you miscarried and now you feel you are somewhow responsible for its occurrence. What is important BW is that you start taking loving care of yourself, inside and out. See the doctor for a physical check and talk about how you can deal with the emotional impact it has had.

((((hug))))
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Old 01-08-09, 12:53 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Blue Girl View Post
my first thought is that u should go to the doctor & make sure that physically everything is ok & gone, how far along were you?
i don't think u should blame yourself. you didn't terminate, it just happened. the decision was out of your hands. and for all you know, you might have backed out last minute, i've heard stories of people who do. you really don't know for sure. maybe see it as a sign to look at the present & future? if you aren't ready to have a child, you need better birth control, so that's good to talk to your doctor about, too.
i'mm sorry you are going through this ((((((((hugs)))))))))
I went to the doctor, and everything is fine. [=.
I know I shouldn't blame myself, but I do, it still feels like it is my fault. I know I am not ready for a child, and that child is better off where it is, which hurts to say that. I use comdoms, I can't use the pill because it makes my periods worse , don't ask how as I do not know.
*hugs*

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I agree with Blue Girl. Get yourself checked. Talk to your doctor about seeing someone if you are finding it difficult to move on right now. You may be experiencing problems emotionally reconciling how you felt about your situation and the fact that you miscarried and now you feel you are somewhow responsible for its occurrence. What is important BW is that you start taking loving care of yourself, inside and out. See the doctor for a physical check and talk about how you can deal with the emotional impact it has had.

((((hug))))
I don't want to talk to a therapist about this, it will make it seem even more real than it is, if it takes much longer of self blame, then I will, but for the timebeing I would rather not.
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Old 01-08-09, 04:29 AM   #5
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You don't have to see a therapist if you don't want to. What do you think it will take to get past this feeling?
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Old 01-08-09, 12:37 PM   #6
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I don't know. Writting a poem or something probably
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Old 01-08-09, 02:09 PM   #7
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i'm glad everything went ok at the dr.
i hope time will help u feel better
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Old 01-08-09, 02:52 PM   #8
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We got a forum here for that if you're interested.
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