He's only 11
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Family Issues


He's only 11

This is a discussion on He's only 11 within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; My son told us about a day he was looking up the website for a radio station called "The Bone". ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-05-08, 10:07 AM   #1
TTL Gold Member
 
Mousey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 10,390
My Mood:
Default He's only 11

My son told us about a day he was looking up the website for a radio station called "The Bone". When he did he accidentily put an 'r' behind it & the search engine brought up a page of porn sites. So every now & then he'll ask me questions about what he saw. He was just here this past weekend & last night my sister was looking up her myspace & noticed a porn site in the address bar......as it turns out, it wasn't me nor Crimson looking at any porn this weekend. The only person left is my son. He's been looking at porn. He's only 11. So we decided to check the history in IE, Netscape & the Fox thing. All 3 of them had porn in it. Now, if he was looking at porn with men in it, I could say maybe he's comparing his genitals to theirs. But he's watching lesbian porn. He's watching women. I'm not sure how to handle this, how to approach it. What to say, how to react. I'm offended. I'm disgusted. I'm disappointed. He's only 11. It's normal to be curious I suppose, but to have the guts to actually look this stuff up over & over again.....that takes courage. Does he not feel guilty? I don't want to react in a way that'll make him ashamed of himself, I don't want to scar him for life. I don't know what to do. I want to know how long this has been going on, what it is he's so curious about. I need to stop him but I don't know how.
__________________
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."
Mousey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-08, 10:25 AM   #2
TTL Platinum Member
 
silent cry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: just here dancing away as usuall
My Mood:
Default Re: He's only 11

im sorry mousey...
could u not restrict websites... u know im not very technological... but im sure there is sumin you can do where u block certain sites... so u can have control over what sites he's using.

have u talked to bobby about this?



__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


im the kinda girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
silent cry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-08, 10:27 AM   #3
TTL Gold Member
 
Mousey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 10,390
My Mood:
Default Re: He's only 11

Yeah we're gonna put a parental block up. I haven't talked to him about this yet, we just found out last night & he was already back at his dad's. I just don't want to make it worse, I need to be careful about how I approach this.
__________________
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."
Mousey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-08, 12:26 PM   #4
TTL Gold Member
 
boulevard-traveler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: defying gravity
Posts: 10,236
My Mood:
Default Re: He's only 11

Man, Mousey, I'm sorry...I wish I knew what to say...
__________________
~All the days gone by to never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all~ "All the Wasted Time-Parade"
boulevard-traveler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-08, 10:09 AM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 100
Default Re: He's only 11

rofl
just curiousity.

keep an eye on him. dont just let parental controls solve everything. spend time with him, set limits. dont let him just set on the computer all day. i wouldnt worry to much about it, this is only the beginning of raising a teen. lol. but at least its not something morbid or perverted. hes just interested in females. it seems simple and common enough.
IDKwhatIwant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-08, 02:58 PM   #6
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,622
Default Re: He's only 11

Sorry 2 hear it, mousey. I don't know where your computer is, but I heard putting the computer in an open area is better than in a separate room. This way it's harder for him to look at things he shouldn't if people are always walking by. ...
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-08-08, 09:53 AM   #7
TTL Gold Member
 
Mousey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 10,390
My Mood:
Default Re: He's only 11

The computer is already in the living room. I was trying to think of when he would have been looking at these, as there's quite a bit. Sat. night Crims & I left him home alone while we returned a movie we rented, we were gone over an hour. Maybe then. Or...we get up later than normal cause of the shift I work, and he gets up early. So maybe it was then. As far as I knew, he only came online to play his game called Runescape, and to check gamefaq's to get cheats for his video games. That's pretty much it.

Okay so....I need help on what to say exactly. What kind of punishment do give? He's only here on weekends (every other actually) so grounding him & making sure he completes the grounding will be difficult. I certainly can't count on his father.

I most certainly don't think it is common at all for a boy of 11 yrs. to be this interested in girls. He's interested in their genitals, he's watching them orgasm. He's not even reached his teenage years yet!
__________________
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."
Mousey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-08-08, 11:35 AM   #8
TTL Gold Member
 
Blue Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 13,622
Default Re: He's only 11

Good for you for keeping the computer out! He can't do it all the time, then.
Anyway, just my opinion, but I don't know if there should be a punishment. A frank talk about this topic and about women in general might be more fitting. I think that would do more to correct him than any punishment would. (Unless you've already talked with him about this topic? I don't know if u have). But either way, you're the mom, you know your son better than anyone else, you have a better idea what he will respond to or how he will respond. Hope it all works out, whatever u decide.
__________________

Blue Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-08, 11:20 AM   #9
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 256
Default Re: He's only 11

hmm you son may just be curious. he is at the age now where he will begin to change into a teenager...scary thought i know for a young lad of 11...but what he saw kinda cataputled him into his curiosity...i was catapulted the same kinda way...only different... but he will do alot of growing up in the next year or so...i think a good long talk will put your minds at rest...keep montiering the sites he visits and turn up safty settings as alot of "adult" websites are riddled with all kinds of spyware, viruses etc maybe only let him on at the times when there are adults in the room...if that is impratical then there are alot of monitering softwere you could install...these have the added bonus of recording chatlogs etc...
hope this has helped...
Fallen Angel Jon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-08, 11:29 AM   #10
TTL Gold Member
 
Mousey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 10,390
My Mood:
Default Re: He's only 11

You are absolutely right, thanks for your reply. I did have a talk with him, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He denied it at first, but I remained calm and explained how he was too young etc, basically I didn't get mad. He admitted to it later and said he feels bad and to this day he still says he feels bad about it. I've downloaded a program that requires a password to view certain types of websites.

By handling it the way I did, I'm hoping he'll realize that he can talk to me about anything at all and not worry that I'm going to explode & punish him, know what I mean? I'm keeping my fingers crossed. :)
__________________
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."
Mousey is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:40 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2