do i complicate your life?
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Family Issues


do i complicate your life?

This is a discussion on do i complicate your life? within the Family Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; This is my first post here and the main reason for my problems, I don't know if you are reading ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-21-20, 07:03 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Brazil
Posts: 2
My Mood:
Exclamation do i complicate your life?

This is my first post here and the main reason for my problems, I don't know if you are reading this you will be able to read it, but maybe you need my help as much as I need yours. Sometimes I feel that I complicate the lives of people around me, I end up distancing myself from those who seem to care about me and I feel that I am a burden to my parents. I feel that I complicate their lives, my biggest question is "what to do when you feel that you complicates the lives of those around you?". I feel distressed and sad at extreme levels thanks to that, I don't know what to do or think.
fireflies2802 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-20, 01:09 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,090
My Mood:
Default

Welcome to TTL!

Did you talk to your parents about the way you feel? Your parents would tell you your not a burden. Why do you feel this way? Why you distance yourself from people who care about you? I feel we’re social creatures, maybe your friends need someone there for them too.

Not sure what else to say but hope this helps.
TooMuch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-20, 02:47 PM   #3
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Brazil
Posts: 2
My Mood:
Default

Thanks for the reception.

I tried it once with my mother, at first she tried to help me and stay by my side, but now she just cares about my father's countless adulterers. Sometimes she says that I hate her because I never help her blackmail him and that I am too ungrateful for not doing what she wants. She wants me to lie to him and say bad things and I don't want that, he likes me and I like him, even though he does things wrong. I wish I could open up to him, but I can't. I just don't go out and I'm afraid to do that and he'll end up fighting with my mother and she'll take it out on me. I don't know why I feel this way, my mother had depression in a good part of her life and I don't know if what I feel is related to the problems she has already suffered. People who claim to be my friends and who are the closest figures I have to this, tend to judge me a lot and fight with me without plausible reasons and if I walk away I continue to be judged, so almost anyone who tries to get close to me, I try to walk away.


Thanks for the words and for taking the time to read this.
fireflies2802 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-20, 01:20 AM   #4
Senior Member
 
hottea654's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,412
My Mood:
Default

It sounds like you might be feeling low because of the stress in your home. I think most people in your shoes would feel bad. We shouldn't have to choose between parents but it isn't uncommon from what I've seen that kids feel they are being forced to choose.

What kind of diet do you have? Sometimes how often or what types of food we eat can help us overcome feeling depressed or sad. Also, exercise can also help because it gets chemicals moving in our body and helps perk us up.

Lots of people don't really want to know what is hurting us in life. They act all nice or helpful at work/school/church, etc, but if you try to confide in them they seem like they can't get out of there fast enough or they start to treat you weird. I can understand how you might feel that way. Is there a school counselor or someone at church if you go to one that counsels? Sometimes pastors also are counselors and they are often a good ear and don't treat you like scum when you confide in them.

Even if your parents feel you do complicate their lives, you are their child and that is part of the package. Every child under the sun complicates the lives of their parents for as long as they have any relationship or live at home. You are a wonderful complication, I promise!
If their view is so short sighted that they don't see past their personal squabbles and dislike of one another they need to straighten out themselves first, maybe. That is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! You seem like a wonderful young person who should be cherished and not left to feel all alone fighting against parents who are acting immature.

__________________
We have to become creative problem solvers, not just tolerant burden barers.
hottea654 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-20, 03:10 AM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,090
My Mood:
Default

Fireflies, stop by and vent anytime, sometimes life not easy. I think your on the right track though.
TooMuch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-20, 11:44 AM   #6
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 54
Default

The answer is simple, get insight from people you think you are doing this to. If people are not complaining or distancing themselves from you then its a good sign, right?
Prycejosh1987 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:45 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2