My sibling is effectively killing the relationship between us, just by being very controlling and demanding and oh yes a bitch. I'm now internalizing her demanding questions: if I go in my bathroom, see that I have too many toothbrushes, I immediately hear her asking, "Why do you have so many toothbrushes? Why don't you throw most of them out?"
and I hear myself answering, "Why don't you fuck off?"
Then I go in another room and imagine her demanding to know when I'm going to clean and organize the entire place. I mentally answer, "When are you going to fuck off?"
I'm not going to relate the entire stream of events that led to my feeling this way; it's a repeating thing that has occurred many times between us, and this is just the latest. But now I think I despise her.
And I feel angry all the time now. My own autonomy and decision-making matter a great deal to me, perhaps more than ever before. The disrepect you show someone by trying to control them is pretty powerful, and history between you can make it much worse.