Hey! Im glad my poor choices can finally help someone, thank you for reading my post...maybe all that is missing in your life is surrounding yourself with the right people... You say youre sweet and smart and yet nobody likes, maybe youre with people that don't know how to value that.
My grandmother allways said "honey wasnt made for the pigs to taste It " do you know what I mean?

I am legitimately concerned now (not about the sex-related stuff). I personally would never want anyone in my life to be a part of the sex industry. Others don't care as much. I wouldn't be comfortable with stripping either.

For me, sexual liberation does not come by exploring it with many people as much as it does just accepting it by myself and being willing to express that I am ok with it. Some people are less inclined to monogamy as I am, fine by me. I don't find monotony in monogamy.

I am seriously concerned that you are excessively allowing others to define you. Deeming yourself lovable because your ex got back with you? What if he dumps you again but this time for some hotter, sexier girl?

Words mean jack squat with some major action to back them up. Getting back together does not qualify. I guess time will tell whether the relationship with him is healthy or not.

If you're into polygamy, orgies, and what not, then be willing to accept the exact same from a guy. Polygamy can be messy business if you don't have the mind for it. Some guys are down for having sex with multiple women but cannot accept women having sex with multiple men. It's a major double standard.

Seriously, think hard about what you want. When I am trying to figure out what I want, I imagine myself all alone and thinking what exactly I want. I go as specific as possible. I delve into the reasons why I want that something. What is at the core? If no one is around and I only have myself, how do I view myself? Do not let someone else validate your existence, especially someone who breaks up with you. You might need another human being to support you but you only need yourself (and/or a God if you believe so) to affirm your self-worth.

No amount of sex or money is going to hit that. Also, I strongly discourage seeking out to become a healer in order to heal yourself thru your patients.

However, here's a fair warning. If you ever in the future are interested in a purely monogamous (excludes sex parties, swingers, etc), high-commitment, serious relationship, then it is extremely unlikely that a guy who matches that will be comfortable with someone in the sex industry. I certainly wouldn't be.

Check out PsychologyToday.com for some information on human sexuality. I think the site does a good job of explaining the spectrum of sexuality.

Please, be really careful. If you truly want monogamy at heart, then I don't want you to do something that could really hurt your chances there. If you truly want polygamy at heart, then I don't want you to waste your time with bad resources and information. Most importantly, I want you to accept yourself the way you are.

Great I'm glad you feel better knowing you helped someone. I like your grandmother's saying too.

Thank you so much. That was really deep and useful. You're right, I need to stop internalizing other people's disrespectful behavior and love myself no matter what.

I'm still undecided about the career path. I feel like freelance writer/stripper is a reaction to society, a desire to be alone because of abuse (working from home as a freelance writer) and only connect to people sexually so I can feel relaxed and unafraid (stripper). Admin sounds downright awful but therapist sounds fun for some unbeknownst reason, not to mention the stable paycheck.

You mentioned that some of the cons of working an admin job would be some of the people you'd have to deal with. What, can you honestly tell me that you expect the guys who frequent strip clubs to be classier? Those places are overflowing with misogynistic scumbags who treat women like meat. I've never been able to stomach the idea of those places; all the women working there are somebody's mother, somebody's wife, somebody's daughter. The fact that these places exist fills me with equal parts rage and nausea.

As soon as you walk out on that stage, you're no longer a person to them. You cease to have feelings, dreams, and thoughts. You become an object, and that's just how they'll treat you. Day in, and day out, you'll be disrespected and mistreated. It's not nearly as glamorous as you're making it out to be. Walk into a strip club and talk to the dancers. I'll bet you my left nut right now, that you won't find any more than one person who is there because they want to be. They're there because they need drug money, because they have no education and can't get any other job, or because that's all they know.

I don't mean to be contrary just for the sake of it. While I was reading what you were thinking of doing, all I could think about is how I'd feel if you were my daughter (I'm still only seventeen, so that's a ways off. Hopefully. ). I know I probably seem very confrontational in some parts, but I don't presume to tell you how to live your life. You know yourself better than anyone. I just got a little angry, is all.

Have you ever been to a strip club? I've been a stripper before for about 6 months. The guys aren't as bad as you make them seem. They are also someone's brother, uncle, dad, or son.

I have a male friend who practically lives in strip clubs and he's a sweetheart. He just loves women's bodies that's all.

I also love women's bodies and when I look at them I don't think of the fact that I'm looking at someone's daughter, that would kill my vibe. Don't you masturbate?

Thanks though.

Yeah? Well, that's good to hear (not good to hear, but you know ) I've only ever been in one, being seventeen and all (fake I.D's work wonders) and I had to leave. I know I was using a lot of blanket statements from that whole twenty minutes I spent there, but that's how it was here.

Maybe we picked a bad day to go, I don't know - I just know that it made me more than a little ashamed to be a man. I just kind of skimmed the thread, never knew you worked as a stripper before. And yeah, they are someone's brother, uncle, or son, but they aren't the ones half naked on a stage!

Anyway, time for me to be off. Just figured I'd drop in, and leave my two cents. If you do decide to work as a stripper again, I hope your shift gets all the decent guys.

Wow, I'm quite surprised I've helped you . Thank you!

I personally think that this is the PERFECT time to figure out what you want from life. This is literally the perfect time. Take all the time you need and get your desires up on the table. Try many different things and figure out what really works best for you. There's no time limit here because you've got your whole life to figure it out!

Find something that you are interested in and are preferably good at too!
I took up engineering because I was good at it and thought I was interested in it.

However, I get far more satisfaction from helping people out (so I want to be a psychotherapist). Anytime I hear that I have helped someone, then I get a massive ego boost and just want to help even more. If I mess up, then I want to correct my mistake to the best of my ability. So...thank you . I want to be good at something in place where my heart is at. My heart is in this stuff. So exciting!

I bet the therapy idea sounds good because you've gained insight into yourself and you'd like to help people become more self-aware and do what they really want (I could be massively projecting here...).

In any case, good luck SensualGirl. Regardless of how rocky the road ahead is, I have 100% confidence that you will find a very satisfying life waiting ahead of you. If things get messy, then come back to all of us for more support! We got your back .

Thank you again!

I'm starting to figure out what I want:
-I want financial stability
-I want to live in my own little world with the people and activities of my own choosing
-I want to be my own boss
-I want to explore my sexuality in a non-conformist but healthy and safe way
-I want to do something that I'm good at and enjoy like researching and writing

That's all I want. So now is to figure out how to get it. To be honest I'm not that thrilled about the stripping, it just seems like a way to meet need #1 without compromising most of the other needs.

Maybe I can help you? Maybe?

It seems like finding a life purpose and achieving that life-long goal via a career could really solve a lot of these. You'd be your own boss by working towards a never-ending goal that you really enjoy and happens to give you an income that supports you.

In the process, you'd have to make big decisions and associate yourself with like-minded people who actually like you (and vice versa) to get ahead. You'd also probably find out hobbies and activities to do you'd really enjoy too.

Who knows...along the way...you might find a guy who shares a lot of viewpoints about sexuality and self-expression with you too.

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On a personal note, given my attraction to monogamy, I find going all-out in a monogamous relationship is an extremely liberating way for me to indulge in my male sexuality. My point is simply to tell you not to restrict sexual exploration strictly to things like swinging, sex parties, and the like.

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Good luck .