Welcome to the forum.
It's a difficult situation you're in, but by all means don't give up hope. The year after my divorce was the worst of my life, that was like 6-7 years ago now. I have lived in many places, different cities and towns in different countries (never been to the US but I have a vague idea where Seattle is but not Virginia).
For me having the right people around me got me through, made me stay at the same job until I myself was better and my work got better (commissions in turn helped the overall living, but it was at the limits a few times). Having good support can help you to clear your mind as to which parts are important to devote more time into.
You are certainly not a failure for having the guts to try to make your life away from your home. It takes a lot to do that - if you do go home, at least see this time as great experience for what to do later.
I don't know how the job situations are up there, but if you go home and can keep yourself going, can you have the option to apply for work in Seattle or elsewhere - to bide your time for the right job which will reward you financially - while you are more comfortable?
Either way, don't be so hard on yourself. You've done this after a difficult period of your life, which can put more stresses on thinking and wanting the right balances. You haven't failed by any means, and taking a step back to assess all before going for it again (if you want to), that would be my advice. If that means waiting for the right job, or saving money in a different environment, so be it.
Don't panic, just check before anything else, what is your sure-fire way of being stable financially, Seattle, Virginia, other place, live with friends or family a little while, whatever - be honest with yourself. Do that first so you are not in freefall, then you can work on the rest.
Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent
The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me