New job hell
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New job hell

This is a discussion on New job hell within the Employment and Finances forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I've been posting about my approaching new job...well finally the day arrived no matter how much I was trying to ...

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Old 07-12-10, 06:01 AM   #1
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Default New job hell

I've been posting about my approaching new job...well finally the day arrived no matter how much I was trying to stop time I couldn't. Alot of people thought my worries would be groundless but in truth it was much worse than I expected and I'm already dreading the approaching morning when the day starts again. I feel as though I am over my head and I'm drowning already, I wonder how will I ever survive working there each day.

It's a law firm and I'm just not smart enough, another girl started a week ago and she already knows more than I ever will. My mum is using emotional blackmail and says she hardly wants to live and if I quit this job she would just want to die. I can't cope, people are getting angry at me but I'm not strong enough, not brave enough, not smart enough...just plain not enough. Talking on the phone terrifies me and tomorrow I will probably have to answer the phones, how pathetic am I? Young girls can cope with this job and I can feel the stress and depression knocking me down already. I'm to be a personal assistant to this head lawyer and he scares the hell out of me, he never smiles and I can't understand a word their saying. Everything is going over my head. I feel so dumb, so stupid and inept.

I just want to run because I'm scared, I'm 35 years old and so pathetic and scared. When is this fear going to end? I can't cope anymore. I'm so tired but I don't want to sleep because then tomorrow will come. Why can't I be normal, I get so angry at angry that I just can't cope.
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Old 07-12-10, 06:44 AM   #2
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((((three)))) try to cut yourself a little slack & not be so hard on yourself. i bet you'll get the hang of it soon. just because it seems others are picking up more quickly doesn't necessarily mean they are doing a great job. i used to teach and can tell you that a lot of times speed = errors. you're not in a competition, anyway. just try to do a good job. even if the job doesn't work out, you'll have made the effort and that's good. i think that soon enough you'll get used to the way things are done and get into the rhythm of things. i take a while myself to pick something up, a lot of times i need to do things over & over before i get it. i think a lot of people do.
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Old 07-12-10, 08:33 AM   #3
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My dear friend, 3daystd

You can do it friend. Don't compare yourself with others if that comparison will do more 'harm'.

Please remember, your boss wants to see the job done, not to see 'you'. All that matters to him is the job. When he hire you, he only think about the job. What makes you think you cannot do the job.

I agree with Blue Girl, if they pick up faster, doesn't mean they are better.

You can do it, just give sometimes to yourself for this new place, new faces, new environment.
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Old 07-13-10, 03:51 AM   #4
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Hi thank you guys for the encouraging words. I'm so tired I can't even think straight anymore. They gave me a position I didn't apply for, a role I have never done before. That's one of the reasons why I think I can't do it, there are so many. I suffer from extreme shyness and a major lack of self confidence. Just working around lawyers is extremely intimidating to me, let alone being the personal assistant to three lawyers. I'm scared to talk on the phone because my nerves show up on my voice. My nerves are already getting to me and I threw up before going to work, I can no longer take it and I'm so scared and miserable the whole time. Everytime I try to talk myself up and think positive I plummet back to earth pretty quickly.

Just before I left I was doing work and I really had no idea what I was doing. I am only going to have 2 weeks training and I know I won't pick it up in time. I hate this job but everyone says I'm lucky to have it. I seriously don't think I will even make it to the 3 month probation period. I am just pathetic and everybody is getting sick of me, where do you go when you just can't fit into this world?

I know you said it's bad to compare yourself but even my nephew who I used to babysit is really successful and travelling the world now. I hate being me, I'm really sick and tired of myself....dreading the morning.
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