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Screwing my life up more

This is a discussion on Screwing my life up more within the Eating Disorders forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I know it's not healthy. It helps a lot that I can't see the damage inside. I guess it's like ...

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Old 08-17-12, 08:58 AM   #101
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I know it's not healthy. It helps a lot that I can't see the damage inside. I guess it's like smoking in a way. I think if people saw their lungs, they would quit smoking and it would be easier to quit. I don't see the damage, but it's like...it should make me happier if I get to the weight that I want. So it's making me feel better and there's the illusion that there's no damage. I'm just trying to be happier.

And I had a sundae last night and kept it down. I really wanted it out, but I just couldn't because I feel sick. I guess you'll consider that a good thing even though it made me feel bad.
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Old 08-17-12, 09:27 AM   #102
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But you can feel the damage its doing to you. Your throat is becoming sore and more sensitive. Your tired, you are sore, probably my guess lacking energy as well. Also you are sick, which is probably from not taking in enough of what your body needs to fight off infection and illness. The enamel on your teeth will start to erode because of the pure acidity of your stomach contents being forced up.

You want to lose weight. Fine. Thats a good thing if it will make you feel better. But...there are so many better ways to do it. Healthier ways that will mean you lose weight AND feel better due to the various chemical changes you recieve, lots of exercise for example. Releases Endorphins I think they are called? spelling could be off though. AND burns calories. AND builds muscle tone and density. BUT you have to eat for these things to happen. BUT if you do eat and work out properly, the end result will be awesome.

I know I may be sounding callous or angry or whatever, or not too sensitive. For which I am really sorry. I just...REALLY REALLY dont want it getting worse just because you lose like 10 or so pounds. Im pretty sure you are lighter then me now. And one of the first things you said to me when I told you my weight was that you could hug me so hard it would snap me in two. Is it the other way around now?

I just care about you so much 20. And I hate seeing you hurting. I just want you to be better. Thats all.
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Old 08-17-12, 09:39 AM   #103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20depressed View Post
And I had a sundae last night and kept it down.
I'm really glad to hear that you could do that 20
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Old 08-17-12, 09:54 AM   #104
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You don't sound callous or rude or angry at all. We're probably the same weight now. And I could snap you in two no matter how big or small you are.

It's one of those things where it seems like I have control over it now, but it could get out of control very fast. It's a thin line, but I'm really trying not to do it. Part of it is probably that I got lazy from not eating a lot and wanted to eat, and this was a way I could do that. I'm really trying to get back to just eating very minimally, which I know isn't ideal, but I guess it's better than this.
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Old 08-17-12, 09:56 AM   #105
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I've hit 140 pounds this morning.

What's your current and goal weight?

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Old 08-17-12, 10:27 AM   #106
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I'm about that too. Probably like 141-142 because of that sundae. It's been fluctuating a little. Even if I'm 139, it's not a big deal. I'll still snap you in two.

I think I would like to be 130.
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Old 08-17-12, 02:00 PM   #107
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hehe.. i'll snap both of y'all in two.. :) pixys are hardcore.. :P

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Old 08-18-12, 01:37 AM   #108
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I'm pretty sure I could snap you with my pinky finger. :)
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Old 08-18-12, 05:34 PM   #109
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nope.. :P would take at least a ring finger.. maybe even an index finger.. :)
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