I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so badly, Brandon.
I also struggle a lot with emotional eating related to depression and anxiety. I don't mean to sound like an overstuffy cliche, but I really think this is true-- if you believe that you can't do it, you'll never be able to do it. It's a vicious cycle: the feelings of worthlessness feed the need to binge eat feeds the feelings of worthless all over again. For me, it really helps to try to get away from the all-or-nothing mindset about the whole thing. Yes, this is something you struggle with, and yes, you will continue to struggle with it because it's a sensitive area for you, no matter how many times you wake up and promise yourself it will never happen again. You should recognize that it's a problem, and be kind to yourself. Always be kind to yourself. We all struggle with all kinds of issues, and beating ourselves up further only seems to exacerbate the problems we already have. Have you ever tried seeking support from a Binge Eaters group in your community? They have those kinds of support groups, similar to AA meetings.