Ok, I've been away from TTL for quite awhile. It's not eating disorders that brings me back today, but in an effort to get my mind off things I'm going to rant about perceptions of eating disorders.
People get zoned in to thinking that only people with anorexia or bulimia have eating disorders. It's just not true. Many people have eating disorders and they don't fall into these neat little groups. Many people have particular food obsessions, eating, or not eating, specific items. I'm not one of them. I DO have an eating disorder though, and it took me years to see it, simply because I'm NOT anorexic or bulimic.
I'm slightly overweight,and short, so a little goes a long way. My weight fluctuates, wildly, extremely, and rapidly. I can be overweight one month, and underweight the next. I eat ENTIRELY low fat, low sugar, high fibre foods. I eat PILES of veggies, I try almost every new food trend out there (pomegranates SUCK by the way, and soy is bad for me). I excercise, I have a physical job. I have SIX different kinds of diet pills in my house. I'm not anorexic, I rarely starve myself, though I obssessively count calories, inspect ingredients. I'm not bulimic, I don't binge, I can't throw up. However, my life revolves around my weight and my food and my body.
I have ZERO concept of how I look. I see pictures of myself in the past and think "well, I look cute and thin there" but yet I know that at the time I was obsessing over looking fat. I ALWAYS think I'm fatter now than I was then. Regardless of how true it is.
I'm constantly amazed by how different I'm treated dependant on my weight. I loathe people for acting like that.
I have never been diagnosed, I will never recieve any kind of treatment, I will never have hope, simply because I don't have a disorder they can put a name on.
But I wanted to say, if you're out there, and you feel like this, at least now you know you aren't alone.