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This is a discussion on Just Can't Be Bothered... within the Eating Disorders forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; tiggs is right... dont put ur hand up unless u feel totally comfortable bout it... it none of their business...

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Old 11-14-06, 12:05 PM   #11
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tiggs is right... dont put ur hand up unless u feel totally comfortable bout it... it none of their business



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im the kinda girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
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Old 11-14-06, 12:29 PM   #12
 
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Thanks For The Advice :]. I Won't Put My Hand Up :].

No, My Family Have No Real Idea About What Goes On In My Life. They Don't Seem To Care Anymore. My Parents Are Too Busy With My Siblings And My Nan Who's Ill :[

Luff xxx
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Old 11-15-06, 02:26 AM   #13
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Your family might be able to help you with this. Just a thought.
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Old 12-05-06, 01:39 PM   #14
 
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Hey folks :].

My eating is getting a lot better and a few weeks ago i told my parents about the whole thing. I feel like it has brought our family closer. But it also means that i find it harder everyday to live up to their expectations. I feel like i can't let them down again. They are really supportive, but also i find it hard to talk to them. It was awful telling them to begin with, then it got better, but now i feel like they're watching me so closely i have no room to breathe.

I know it's because they care. But i find it harder to act normal and to eat properly when they are pressuring me.

What should i do? xxx
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Old 12-05-06, 01:45 PM   #15
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Well then talk to them about that.. I am glad you told them but if they understood this time they can understand again right? If you need just a little space then tell them, tell them what you just told us. It is really hard talking to your parents.. I told my parents about what happened to me... (sexual abuse)
and... they asked me if it really happened or if I was just imagining things.....
and then when I told them about me being suicidal my mom downplayed how i really felt and my dad didnt say anything about it.... I was able to get pills and see a therapist through talking to them though... nonpersciption pills btw.. but they work.... its hard to talk to your parents but you need to cause they are the authority figure and it sounds like they are nice... they can help ya....
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Old 12-05-06, 01:47 PM   #16
 
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Thanks. I think i may try talking to them. I'm sorry to hear about stuff that has happened to you in the past. i hope it all got sorted out. xxx
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Old 12-05-06, 01:52 PM   #17
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Nah.. I wont ever get sorted out... I can only heal over time that is all... and dont let what I said scare you... even though it hurt to tell them and they hurt me it still helped me.. I know they care.. they just are clueless or something idk...
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Old 12-05-06, 02:03 PM   #18
 
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Yer i get that feeling with some of my friends a lot. Like all of my friends at school apart from one - Flutegal13 - you may have talked to her on here. But apart from her, they are all just so clueless. I don't know whether it's because they're scared of the subject or prospect of cutting or the whole thing of anorexia. but it just makes me feel really excluded when they all seem so happy and carefree when there's me juggling anorexia, bulimia, cutting, skipping plus all the other woes of life. I just wish that they would understand sometimes.

Time will heal you. I won't ask anymore about it because i know how horrible it is to relive things. Just remember that you have Tohru and all of your friends. And i am always here to listen if you ever wanna talk. xxx
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Old 12-05-06, 02:10 PM   #19
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Here ya go, I has some graphic content just to warn ya.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zetsumei
Well what the hell I am going to give this another shot... Even though I am still upset over pervious happenings on this form... Well here goes nothing... I was abused at a really young age by a man with authority over me. I don't remember much about where I was or who he was.... I have a mental fog about what his face looked like or where I was..... I WISH I KNEW!!! Anyways.... I remember the abuse very, very, very vividly... its embeded into my brain... cant get it out... I was abused in just about every way, he told me... that... he was doing this cause he loved me and its... what kids and grown ups do if they are really close.... and... dammit... I knew it was wrong even though I was really young but... I still did it cause I was scared.... He made me lick and suck.. his genitals... both the balls and the penis.... and... his asshole... he french kissed me.... fondeled me... punched me... kicked me... all over and in the balls... he shoved things up my ass... and... ran his penis all over my body... stuck a couple safty pins through my nipples... and he cummed inside my mouth and stuck some of it inside my ass... just.. friggen abused me in every way imaginable... I have nightmares, flash backs, and I think it gave me post traumantic stress syndrome. It affects my confidence and how I value myself, my concentration, my sexuality, my sleep, school work, just lots of stuff.... Flashbacks or triggers often make me suicidal and I am depressed almost all the time. I used to cut... it was more of stabbing though... I have stabbed a kinfe all the way through my I have repressed it for so long and now I can't.... I used to put on a happy face mask but that mask is no longer strong enough to hold all the pain I feel inside.... The only thing right now that gives me any joy or happyness is my girlfriend toharu... I love you baby <3 Anyways so... there ya go... I am a depressed, suicidal, ptss sufferer.
I have made up my mind not to kill myself but it is hard sometimes.... I just need some people to talk to... about this other than my girlfriend... She is great, so wonderful and all but it will just help to talk to more people. Anyways I hope people reply and we can talk... cause I feel suicidal a lot.. it and it affects me just about every second of every day.... So yea... please someone respond...

edit: I just feel so worthless cause of what happened to me.. and sometimes I feel like I deserve it... Ya know... I don't really care if nobody responds to this cause I know most of you have it worse off than me.
There I dont have to relive it just repost it. :P I relive it a lot anyways with flash backs.... People just dont understand sometimes... they can be very cruel... treat people with pain.. suffering like, like there is something wrong with them because they are "different" people are cruel and often attack what they do not understand.. some think... well if they are happy why cant you be... or that.. you are just stupid if you cut... or that if you do cut and have suicidal thoughts you might kill everyone... the fact is there are more of us than we think... we all just hide it....
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Old 12-05-06, 02:16 PM   #20
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thats horrible zets.. so sorry u went thru all that



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