Just Can't Be Bothered...
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Just Can't Be Bothered...

This is a discussion on Just Can't Be Bothered... within the Eating Disorders forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm Only Recently Recovering From Anorexia And Mild Bullimia And Today I Told Myself I would Really Try. But When ...

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Old 11-13-06, 10:42 AM   #1
 
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Default Just Can't Be Bothered...

I'm Only Recently Recovering From Anorexia And Mild Bullimia And Today I Told Myself I would Really Try. But When I Was Sitting There In The School Canteen I Just Realised That I Couldn't Actually Be Bothered To Eat. I Don't Know Whether This Is Because There Is A Voice At The Back Of My Mind Saying I Shouldn't, Or The Constant Remarks I Get At School About My Weight And Size And Style Of Dress.

I Don't Know What To Do. I Promised Some Of My Closest Friends That I Would Really Try, But Eating Seems Like A Foreign Thing To Me Now.

I Know I Should Try, And Eat Because It'll Do Me Good, But Sometimes I Just Get So Tired Of It. Not Of The Actual Eating And Chewing Etc. But The Whole Concept. And Most Days. Like Today. I Just Can't Be Bothered So I Lie To My Parents About What I Have For Lunch And Just Forget That The Whole Of Lunch Time Ever Happened.

I Know I Should Eat. I Know That I Should Keep Trying. But It's Just So Hard After Everything.

I Became Anorexic Because Of Bitchy Girls At School Making Fun Of My Weight. And For A While They Just Left Me Alone. But Now They've Started Again And I Just Dread Going To School Because Of Those People.

I Mean, The School Isn't Bad, It's Quite Nice Really, I Used To Love School, But Recently, Because Of These People I Find Myself Making Up Excuses To My Mum About Why I Can't Go.

Today Was A Bit Better Because The Bitchiest Girl Was Off. So Was Quite A Quiet Day, But Still Whenever I Saw Them They Labelled Me Emo Or Goth. I Even Got Asked By Someone In My R.E Group If I Was A "Punk".

Anyway. Sorry This Has Been A Rather Long Rant. I Just Need Someone To Talk To About It.

Do You Think The Fact That I Can't Actually Be Bothered To Eat Is A Serious Problem?

Thanks For Listening.

AO xxx
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Old 11-13-06, 10:56 AM   #2
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i cant b bothered to eat today either...

i used to get bullied when i was at school.. so i stopped eating in public... it became normal to me just not to eat durin the school day.. being round others who ate just didnt bother me at all..

sorry that these bitches pick on you.. u are beautiful tho.. what ever your size... dont let them change u..

i dont think its a case of u cant b bothered to eat... like with me i think your body has just got used to not eating.



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Old 11-13-06, 11:09 AM   #3
 
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Thanks For Your Reply. :]

I Know What You Mean, My Body Is Kind Of Just Refusing To Eat. And There's Something Telling Me That I Should Just Give Up And That There Is No Use In Trying Anymore.

I Know I Should Keep Trying, But It's So Hard.

But I Don't Wanna Let My Friends Down Either After How Much They've Tried To Help Me.

Two Of Them In Particular I Let Down Only Yesterday When I Made Myself Throw Up. I Feel So Guilty Because These Two Are Some Of My Closest Friends And They've Always Stood By Me And Supported Me And Told Me Everything Would Be Ok. They've Tried So Hard By Making Me A Little Chart Of How Much I Should Try And Eat Each Day.
I Luff Them Both So Much And I Never Wanna Lose Them. But I Feel Like I Keep Letting Them Down. And That Everytime I Do Something Stupid And Revert Back To My Old Ways, They Grow More And More Tired Of Me.

I Don't Know What To Do. I'm Just Finding Eating So Hard.

Help Me.

AO xxx
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Old 11-13-06, 11:15 AM   #4
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dont worry.. i know its hard but u will get there.. start of by eating little bits.. something like fruit which is good for u.

ur friends should support u thru it.. if they are true friends they wont grow tired of u.. they just wana c u better again... and if they dont support u then they aint true friends.

is it because u fear being called fat by friends that u wont eat.. or cus u actually feel fat?



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Old 11-13-06, 02:47 PM   #5
 
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A Bit Of Both Really.

Most Days I Feel Really Fat And Disgusting, But Others I Feel Fine And Then I See The Bitchy Girls At School And They Bring My Mood Down. I Know For Certain That These Two Friends Would Never Call Me Fat. But Somedays I Feel Like They Keep Things From Me Just Because Of What I've Been Through.
Neither Tell Many Secrets, But One Less So Than The Other. I Would Like Her To Feel That She Can Confide In Me Like I Confide In Her. I Just Wanna Help Because I Know She Has Problems Of Her Own And She Must Get Fed Up Listening To Mine.

I'll Take Your Advice On Eating Little Bits. :]

Thankyou For Listening To Me xxx
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Old 11-13-06, 05:00 PM   #6
 
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Sweetie, I Don't Know Who These People Are Or Why They Are Calling You Fat, But They Must Be Wearing Glasses That Magnify People Ten-Times Their Normal Size.
Watching You In The "Kiss Me Kate" Performance, I Couldn't Get Over How Slim You Are.

I'll Find These Girls, Who Are Most Probably Just Jealous, And Have Some Serious Words. >.<
I Luff Yew. <3
x
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Old 11-13-06, 05:12 PM   #7
 
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Thanks Abi. I Luff Yeww Too. Lots And Lots.

The Main Cause Of My Problems And My Upsets Was A Girl Who Was IN Kiss Me Kate With Me. Dunno Whether You Saw Her? With The Bright Orange Tshirt That Said "Texas" ?

She Calls Me Fat And Stuff And Basically Makes My Life A Misery : [

Thanks Guys

Luff Yeww All And Especially Yeww Absii! xxxxx <3
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Old 11-14-06, 01:39 AM   #8
 
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Hmph. Well, She Clearly Doesn't Know What She's Talking About..

And Yes, I Do Think She's Jealous. If It's The Girl I'm Sort Of Picturing... She's Not Exactly Slim Herself.
I'll Always Stick Up For You Mazzykins. <3
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Old 11-14-06, 10:53 AM   #9
 
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Thanks Abi : ]

Yer, She Calls Me Fat And Other Stuff And She's Not Exactly Slim :[.

She Started Calling Me A Slut Today. As Well As Emo And Goth.

And Really Dreading Thursday. I Have PSE And We're About To Start A Topic On Eating Disorders And My Friend In The Year Above Says They Start The Lesson By Asking You To Put Your Hand Up If You've Ever Had One.
Should I Put My Hand Up? Or Will This Give People More Reason To Make Fun Of Me...?

xxx
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Old 11-14-06, 10:59 AM   #10
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Hello Absolute Obsession.

Sorry to but in here, but I don't think you should put your hand up if you're not comfortable doing that. It's a very personal thing and I don't think it's just anybody's business. Telling people at school might make your life that much harder for you there. You don't need that. I do hope you let your family know what's going on.

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