im getting addicted to starving myself. every since i made it home from college (finally) i've been feeling irritable and anxious from over eating and now i can't get over how good i feel starving. i have such a serious rush of endorphins right now, i feel so amazing and i haven't felt like this in years. its like i just popped a bunch of pain killers or fallen in love amazing. and i don't want it to go away. i know its such a bad thing to get used to but now i feel so guilty gaining 5 pounds and eating all the time. why are the thing that are so bad for us the things that feel so good??? very unfair

it's impossible to look into a mirror and come to any conclusions with any certainty about yourself. you might think you're not good enough, but it's not the reflection telling you that, it's some prejudice you have towards yourself.

i'm sure you've heard it a million times about how it's really unhealthy and if you keep it up you'll starve to death.
but also remember most men don't find overly thin girls attractive. I for one like a thick ass and full set of thighs..

Eating Disorders | Anorexia | Bulimia | Binge Eating Disorder | Compulsive Overeating | The Something Fishy Website on Eating Disorders

There's a memorial page on there ...

And, yes, you may feel a rush now ... but soon you will have no energy but to sleep and go to the bathroom ... soon your depression will worsen because no food = dead serotonin ... soon you will start to grow downy fur as your body tries to keep warm ... soon your hair will fall out ... soon your teeth will fall out ... soon you will not be able to string together a sentence ... soon you will get chest pains ... soon you will be thinking that you have to do *another* fast so you can hit your new target ... soon your bones will leech calcium in an effort to obtain necessary minerals, and you will start to get osteoperosis ... soon your body will hold on to every cal you do eat in an effort to preserve energy ... soon you will be so blocked up you will need laxatives just to go to the toilet once a week ... soon your body will be so desperate to conserve energy, your organs will shut down ... soon your electrolytes will be so imbalanced, your heart will race, or slowly chug, or just stop all together ...

This "feels so good" rush will soon turn into a hellish obsession, with horrible results. This rush will go away even if you continue this way - only if you continue this way, you may very well be stuck on a dangrous, deadly path.

Please, if you don't feel you can stop on your own, get help now. Eating disorders are not fun.