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" Double Bacon Cheeseburger."

This is a discussion on " Double Bacon Cheeseburger." within the Eating Disorders forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm not going to lie and say I'm the skinniest girl you've met. But, I'm not the chubbiest. At one ...

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Old 04-01-10, 02:21 AM   #1
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I'm not going to lie and say I'm the skinniest girl you've met. But, I'm not the chubbiest. At one point, I was pretty chubby. I just moved to a new town, my mom had a new boyfriend, I kind of liked this one. I liked to climb trees and apparently the neighbor from the end of the block did too. I was climbing the tree in front of the abandoned house next door to the neighbor and he comes over and climbs up too. We make casual conversation and I think I just made my first friend in this new town. About a month later, we aren't hanging out anymore or anything and school starts. I make it about two weeks into the first quarter of 5th grade when it begins. The bullying. I begin to get called nasty, mean names by other students. They shoved me in the halls, spit on me, and one time I actually got locked in the Janitor's closet. Nobody noticed until after lunch. I screamed and screamed. They finally let me out. They didn't even call my mom. They just said it was simply an accident and that it would never happen again. NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN? Why did it happen in the first place? Why was nobody out in the halls to see the girls shove me in there. When they opened the door, my hands were all swollen and bloody from pounding on the door. Claustrophobia. I'm pretty sure being locked in there gave me this fear. I no longer go into tight spaces. Elevators sometimes scare me. And the dark absolutely terrifies me. That night, I cried and cried and cried. I told my mom that kids at school were teasing me. She said " Boys tease girls when they like them." So, they secretly all like me? That must be it. That must be why the boys push and shove and spit on me. That must be why that group of 'populars' shoved me into a closet and locked the door. Because that sounds like a rational reason, Mom. You don't know anything. A few weeks after the incident I told a teacher at school that they were calling me names. He kept a close watch on the kids. He made sure not to seat me by them in seating charts and when he did, he would check again and change it. He was really helpful, for the rest of 5th grade. 6th grade rolls around and I make a new friend. He happens to be a guy. We stick together through everything. But eventually, towards the end of the year, I start to downfall. Eventually this leads to a broken heart and very scarred wrists.
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Old 04-01-10, 04:48 AM   #2
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Oh wow... it's truly horrible what people are capable of doing to one another. I don't really know what to say, I haven't quite been through what you've been through but I know what it's like to be bullied for various things, including weight. Take care of yourself, keep posting here. Welcome to the forums.
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the star in somebody else's sky...
But why can't it be mine?
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