BF makes me nervous about how much I eat.
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BF makes me nervous about how much I eat.

This is a discussion on BF makes me nervous about how much I eat. within the Eating Disorders forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I've started seeing this guy recently and he's lovely...he's amazing...he's everything I want...but he doesn't eat much and will often ...

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Old 10-03-10, 06:27 PM   #1
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Unhappy BF makes me nervous about how much I eat.

I've started seeing this guy recently and he's lovely...he's amazing...he's everything I want...but he doesn't eat much and will often make comments on how much I eat (I know his intentions are not to stop me eating at all) but I just feel like a fat ass and feel so self concious when I'm eating around him....like i have to cut back the amount I eat because he doesn't eat much....and now my ED is coming back into play and I'm not sure how much of that is related to the current situation :(

I just wish I could stop being stuck in this vicious cycle but I think it will follow me for life.....what's worse is that when I'm not around him I eat way too much and then hate myself even more.....I can't stand it and Ive vowed to go into heavy restriction mode now which is just....fantastic *sigh*

doubt there's much I can do about this situation because it's all my own damn fault as usual.
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Old 10-03-10, 07:50 PM   #2
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Friends often comment on how much I eat (I'm skinny, but I eat like a big girl) and complain about people who starve themselves ...maybe he is indirectly giving you a compliment, or is indirectly bragging about how little he needs to eat?
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Old 10-04-10, 01:35 AM   #3
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Talk the issue clear with him.
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Old 10-04-10, 03:49 PM   #4
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The answer to any problem related to food is never "stop eating." Especially not just because of someone else's comments.

I agree that you should talk to him about it, tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable.
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Last edited by Ella; 10-11-10 at 08:32 AM.
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Old 10-05-10, 05:36 PM   #5
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im a recovering annorexic... reason for being in an eating disorder forum.
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Last edited by Ella; 10-11-10 at 08:33 AM.
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Old 10-05-10, 05:51 PM   #6
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Don't feel bad Oubliette. I don't think he would care if you ate a healthy amount with him. I sure don't care what or how much my woman eats. If he's that picky maybe he doesn't deserve you. I hope you can feel better about this, I'm sorry.
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Last edited by Ella; 10-11-10 at 08:35 AM.
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Old 10-06-10, 09:59 AM   #7
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Is he aware of your struggle with anorexia? Do you think it would make it easier to deal with if it was more out in the open? Something to remember is that you're almost certainly far more critical of yourself than anyone else around you. I don't think I'd even notice if I was dating a girl who ate more than me, I'm too busy worrying about my own food consumption :p If you don't mind me asking, what do you classify as 'eating too much'? Given your struggles in the past, it could be a completely normal amount of food, no?

Another thing I've noticed is that people with eating disorders tend to become very judgmental of others when it comes to food and weight, I know I did when my purging was bad, and I still find myself doing it. I guess it's to justify my own issues with food, and resentment that other people don't have these issues. The result is that the more judgmental I became, the more judgmental I assumed others were, which made me even worse. Do you think that applies to you at all? That maybe you're assuming he's judging you the way you judge yourself? Because if that's the case, I doubt he is. Sorry if I'm way off here...
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Last edited by Ella; 10-11-10 at 08:35 AM.
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