last night i dreamed that i was back in the school hall and i was doing a dance performance. there was gonna be some kind of show or competition. 3 of us were in the dance, so we were practicing. tho one girl didnt show up and the dance didnt work with just 2 of us. so i was really stressed and crying cus i didnt know what to do. my knees and wrists were hurting so i went and got some bandages to wrap them round to give me some support on some moves, but then it became as if the bandages restricted me so much i couldnt dance properly, and i hadnt done the dance in so long i couldnt remember it well anyway... so i went to take them off and i took the ones off infront of my dance teacher who looked at me and said' what have you done now?- please dont tell me those bandages are what i think they are' (at school she knew about me cutting) and i said no, but she had a huge go at me saying if she see's that im still cutting then im out the class etc.. she just shouted at me so much about it all. anyway- it was time for the performance and the other girl still wasnt there, then just as we were supposed to be on stage the other girl walked in. i completely flipped and asked where the heck she had been and told her we were meant to be on stage NOW.
so we went out to talk to the judges and asked if we could go on later cus the girl had only just arrived and we needed to practice it.. but they said no, then they asked me if i had work commitments which i said yes- so they said i couldnt win it then anyway.. so in the end i wasnt given the chance to perform. then a year later the contest was on again so i went to watch the shows and it was all people i went to school with- the acts were really good but i was sooooo bitter about it all. another dance teacher said that a certain act should definately get thru, and i said well, they all work so they cant win it, and they said that didnt matter... but i was fuming cus it didnt matter then but it mattered when i did it.. so i was just arguing with them the whole time and being really nasty about it all.
then i went to the loo's and there was a girl locked in the cubicals and a doc came to her- aparently she had some kinda HUGE tumour things and the doc needed to see to her, but she was helping her in the loo's where we could all see. etc.
very weird indeed.