Am I a sick fuck or what?
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > The Lighter Side > Hobbies > Dreams

Am I a sick fuck or what?

This is a discussion on Am I a sick fuck or what? within the Dreams forums, part of the Hobbies category; I had a dream not long after my son was born where me and Jack (his father) were feeding Lars ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-02-12, 05:42 AM   #1
Experienced Member
 
Anastassia Florine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,056
My Mood:
Default Am I a sick fuck or what?

I had a dream not long after my son was born where me and Jack (his father) were feeding Lars (our son). Lars was sitting in his little baby seat thing that can be converted into a rocking chair. Suddenly, he stopped eating his formula and sort of slumped a little. Jack said:


"Poor baby. He just died."


!!!!!!!


In the dream, I called my mother while Jack I think tried to revive him, but then stopped. We were certain he was dead for some reason. I was on the phone with my mother screaming, "He's dead! He's dead! My little Larsy boy is dead!"


Then I woke up.


Lars was making noises in his crib, ready for his milk. I was so happy to get it for him, to be up at 2 in the morning feeinga and changing him. I said, "I'm so glad I'm here changing your shitty diapers, I had a dream where you died!"


Then a few years later, like at the most a few weeks ago, I had another dream where Lars was admitted to the intensive care unit with a fever of 110!! It was so realistic... Lars was unconscious and I went and saw him in his room while Jack sat at the nurses' station filling out paperwork.


Then I woke up! At least!!


I am fucking sick, sick, SICK!!! I should be happy, not worrying about him (especially due to 2 stupid dreams!!), and it is detrimental to him if I'm not happy! I don't want to be like my mother, thinking I fell in the lake just because she didn't see me for a few seconds when I was 14 (I was like standing behind her or something else). And treating me like an incompetent for years, not going to a friend's house and instead sitting at home for hours until I returned from the mall where I went alone. (I did not live in a "bad" neighborhood.) I don't want to do things like that with my son.
__________________
But every lesson's a blessin, no stressin... ~Cherine Anderson

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. ~Ronald Reagan
Anastassia Florine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-12, 07:18 AM   #2
TTL Bronze Member
 
celery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 6,980
Default

Hugs honey

I think you're so afraid of being paranoid about your parenting that you cannot just relax and enjoy it? I can be the same, so I understand.

I don't know though if this is the case or you're just having these dreams and stressing about them? From what you have written, you do sound like a caring and loving mummy!You are not your mum. She made her own mistakes and you could learn from them and have your own parenting style while enjoying yourself and your son
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
celery is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-12, 09:44 AM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 721
My Mood:
Default

When you wrote "I'm a sick fuck" I imagined something 10x worse, to be honest.

Those dreams aren't even about you personally causing harm! Those dreams have helped you verify your dedication to the well being of your son. Blessing in disguise, perhaps?
Operator is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-02-12, 10:21 AM   #4
Experienced Member
 
versae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: in the dark forgotten corner of peoples minds.
Posts: 1,178
My Mood:
Default

these dreams aren't sick at all 8)


just a fear
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Do not feed Versae, has it ruins his natural survival habits, Thank you.

"The People shouldn't fear the Government, The Government should fear the People" - V

"Humans can survive under water - but not for very long" - Fact Sphere

"The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty." - Fact Sphere

"In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself." - Fact Sphere
versae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-12, 11:01 AM   #5
TTL Bronze Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,885
My Mood:
Default

Right those dreams are not your fault. Those are scary dreams. ((((((hug)))))
__________________
"The lonely become either thoughtful or empty"
Gene Poule is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-12, 10:35 PM   #6
Experienced Member
 
Anastassia Florine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,056
My Mood:
Default

I guess I got suspicious of myself becauseI had TWO dreams, not just one, and I REALLY don't want to have more.

And I can't believe I had this big reaction (but hey, I'm bipolar :P ) Thanks for putting it in perpective; I'm a little embarrassed now.

Celery is right... tho I was enjoying loving my son even in the dreams! It was like cathartic in the first one (which was more detailed).

My dad said I wasn't my mom too, tho that was like over 10 years ago. He said that time that since I was overprotected I didn't seem like the type who would overprotect my kids.

Actually, I'm ADAMANT about protecting them from overprotection!!
__________________
But every lesson's a blessin, no stressin... ~Cherine Anderson

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. ~Ronald Reagan
Anastassia Florine is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:23 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2