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This is a discussion on abuse within the Dreams forums, part of the Hobbies category; i dreamed that is was with my mom in the backwoods where she grew up and she took me to ...

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Old 06-27-07, 01:06 PM   #1
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i dreamed that is was with my mom in the backwoods where she grew up and she took me to a house where she said here mom's dad (?) lived. she said when she was in 4th grade, he used to abuse her sexually and she used to hate it because all the "kids" were in the same room and she was afraid the other kids would hear her. i got the feeling that he abused all the kids (who?, maybe all grandkids) in the room by turn. she said that's where all the "kids" stayed in the summers. so i told her we should burn the house down to symbolize her freeing herself of the memories. i torched the house and then we left. weird.
i know nothing in reality about my mom's childhood except that my grandpa used to be an alcholic and would stay out in the field with the fieldhands all night drinking. she said she could remember waiting on the front porch with my grandma waiting for him. she also said once she used to be scared of him. why, i don't know. i know that his dad died when he was 2 and his mom remarried and his stepdad used to beat him, then his stepdad was murdered (no one knows who, they found him dead in the field next to his team of mules and wagon). i know i was abused at age 5 (can't remember by who) and also at the age of 9 and 10 so i don't know if the dream symbolizes that or if my mom was abused and i'm guessing about it in my dreams. she's never told me that she was but i've often wondered..........
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Old 06-27-07, 01:12 PM   #2
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thats a realy interesting and sad dream..

have you ever talked to your mom bout the abuse?



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Old 06-27-07, 05:36 PM   #3
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sc,
no i haven't ever talked to her about it. i don't remember the abuse from when i was 5; my brother does, he remembers "people putting me on a bed and doing perverted things to me". that's all i remember from what he said and he refused to talk about it after that. i remember the abuse from when i was 9-10 because i just went along willingly with these boys my mom used to babysit. i didn't know any better, just thought that's what boys and girls did. later that summer when school was getting close my stomach started hurting real bad and i thought i was pregnant (i knew nothing of the "birds and the bees") and didn't know how i could go to 5th grade being pregnant. that's when my insomnia started (which i still have). one night it got so bad i went to my parents bedroom in the middle of the night and just sat there on the end of the bed not knowing how to tell them i was pregnant. my mom asked me what was wrong and i told her "my stomach hurts". i was trying to get up to nerve to tell her and she said "it's just your nerves, go back to bed". my nerves? of course it was my nerves, they were shot! anyway, i guess my sister saw me go off into the woods with the boys and got mad because i wouldn't let her go and she told my mom and we were caught. she basically let me know i was ruining our family's good name, what would people think, etc etc. she never babysat those boys again but she treated me like a whore for the rest of my time at home.............
whew! sorry i got off on a tangent but i've NEVER told anyone until just this past weekend when i told my husband just what i've told you (and we've been married 19 years). maybe that's why i had the dream, since i told my hubby what happened to me. idk, weird. sorry to ramble, thanks so much for listening :?
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Old 06-28-07, 01:16 AM   #4
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im sorry you mom treated you like that.

yeah maybe thats why you dreamt it.. cus you've just brought it all out in the open to your husband.

whats the relationship with your mom like now?



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Old 06-28-07, 10:45 AM   #5
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Aww I'm sorry Bent. I know it's been a long time but I think it's time you talked more about this. You pushed it down so far for so long. And I think your dreams are telling you it's time now to face it. Maybe??
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Old 06-28-07, 06:50 PM   #6
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sc,
my relationship with my mom is strained at best. i love her and i know she did the best she could. i had a twin brother who died when we were 5. he was born with craniosynostosis (we have 5 skull plates and when we are born they are all separate so our brains can grow-that's why babies have "soft spots") which means his skull plates were fused so his brain couldn't grow. he started having surgeries when he was 4 months old and they screwed up the first one by opening the bone too far so they put plates in, he rejected the plates and kept having surgeries that didn't work. he was mentally retarded and had to wear "forrest gump" leg braces to walk but he was the happiest baby she had. a week after our 5th b-day he died in the hospital from pneumonia. my dad had a girlfriend when my mom "accidentally" (?) got pregnant with me and my twin brother. well, that was in the 60's and people tried to "do the right thing" so they got married but he kept his girlfriend for the next 8 years. so my mom put up with a lot of shit and i try not to fault her too much. anyway, she gets on my nerves, bless her heart. she's just one of the most negative people i've ever talked to and i can't hardly stand to be around her. i'm not her favorite either, my younger brother is (he's perfect in her eyes). so i won't be talking to her about my deepest darkest secrets anytime soon :?

mousey,
i think you're right about needing to talk about the abuse, i just turned 41 and i've kept it inside all these years and it's screaming to get out. i've been waking up and going to sleep with panic attacks, having bad dreams, etc. maybe i'll start actually having real memories of the abuse from when i was 5, who knows? i'm just glad i have you guys here :) thanks so much for listening, i really need to get it out.
peace and love,
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Old 06-29-07, 01:00 AM   #7
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aww, bent im sorry about your brother..

and sorry things still aint good with your mom.

but like mousey says.. i think you need to start talking about it all to deal with it properly



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