Stuck under the covers on a sunny, crisp, fall day. I can hear cars and people outside my bedroom window, all happy normal people, and I'm jealous of them and hate them at the same time. The voices, the tormenting voices of "you should be out there, you should be functioning, you're a loser, you should be stronger than this, you should out-think this, you you you should should should should should should!!!
I just wish the day would end so i could get through it and have an excuse to be in bed like other people. I'm I freak. A wimp, a failure, and a secret liar pretending I'm depressed so I can avoid facing my life. The meds aren't working so it must be my fault I'm like this. Im the problem. I'm the answer. I'm the failure. I was up and productive yesterday and it led back to here?
I wish the day were over... But then I'll feel worse that stayed in bed all day.
What an awful trap!