How do you know if you're depressed, or if you're just going through a phase while dealing with things?

I recently went through some hard stuff, and it changed me.

I used to have lot of hobbies, a lot of interests. Now they hold nothing for me. Now I have new ones, but only a few. I can't connect with people anymore, I'm disconnected and all I want to do is fight. The only place I feel okay is in my new classes... Jiu Jitsu, boxing, wrestling, Muay Thai, MMA, sparing...

When I go out now I don't look for cute shoes or dresses anymore.

When I do sleep I am plagued by nightmares.

How long do I give myself to heal before I know I'm in trouble?

I have been battling depression since I was a teenager so it is hard to pinpoint when I realized it. But it sounds like you are depressed. The good news is that since your depression seems to have been brought on by recent events, therapy to help you through it or medication should help. Don't be afraid to ask for help because we all need it sometimes even if it is hard to acknowledge sometimes. Its great that you have hobbies to turn to to help you release your aggression, I am struggling even with finding that...

kajay15 - Hope you don't mind my own thoughts here.

First of all, sometimes too much stress or things going on can bring on depression. Talking to someone, within your real life, may also help to elevate some of it as well as finding enjoyment back to things you may/might lose/be losing intrest(s) in. We of course are always here for you, to the best of our own ablities. I'm truly sorry that you've had to endure the hard times that you've had.

For the nightmare aspect of it. While it's only a suggestion here, it may/might work for yourself. Before you're getting ready for bed, find things that are soothing or calming to yourself. Suggestion would be here, like taking a nice warm bath with some candles or incense. Maybe going for a walk to unwind from things. Maybe, if you haven't already tried/attempted it, starting a journal may also help. I find it very helpful to unload how I'm feeling with doing that. Writing things down also gives a positive way to "vent" within the privacy of our own space/time. One last thing for the nightmares. Try not to eat within 2-3 hours of going to sleep. I notice that when I do that, I don't sleep well, I toss/turn, & the dreams I have, to say the very least, are most unpleasant.

You know yourself better than anyone else does. If you think you're not healing from things/stress as quickly as you may/might normally do, then maybe it's time to seek out someone to talk/discuss things with. I apologize now, if I haven't been too helpful. I do hope that things become less stressful for yourself.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I would highly recommend taking the time to talk to a therapist about it. From what you describe, it sounds like depression and they can help you to determine its root cause and how to deal with it. Most importantly, don't feel like it is "giving in" or be embarressed by asking for help. Sometimes we can't shake these things by ourselves. For me, I felt silly that I had waited so long to talk to somebody thinking I would just "snap out of it." Hang in there and do seek for answers. They are out there if you take the time to find them. They are not always easy to find, but you will find them.