Trying to heal, from life... - Page 258
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Depression Forums > Depression


Trying to heal, from life...

This is a discussion on Trying to heal, from life... within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Aries...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-25-15, 02:45 PM   #2571
Senior Member
 
Dave86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: united states
Posts: 4,897
My Mood:
Default

Aries
Dave86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-15, 08:52 AM   #2572
TTL Platinum Member
 
Aries's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,210
Default Too Many Thoughts...Strongly Cautioned

I have too many thoughts of what it's like to live/exsist like a "regular" person. I wonder, too often, what it's like to have friend's/family that (deeply) cares about you & what's going on in your life. I ponder the thoughts of what other's "gain" by being so unkind to one another? Truly, it must be something I'm missing in this world? I see it, so much more, than I see acts of kindness. I for one, I'm living in a world that I don't belong within. I seem to be the "broken mold" that never "fits" into any place nor with anyone. I feel like an outcast amoung this world I live in. I no longer care what happens any more, as I can see other's don't care about me. The pain's I've endured, I'm sure, are trivial to what other's have. At this point in time, I just can't see past my own. I can't see why life's got to be one major battle after another. If it's not one thing that goes wrong, it's too many other's.

I no longer care to "repair" anything any more/longer. All I want is the tranquility I've been aching feel, once more. I want the feeling of being wanted by another. I long to understand what it's like to give a hug to someone & it be returned in the same kind/loving way I gave it to them. I long to see a genuine smile on someone's face, that's truly happy to see me. I long to hear kindness, when someone speak about me. All these & more are not something that's a reality for myself. I want freedome from of all these "internal" pain's that I've endured for far too long...

Dave86~'s.
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Aries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-15, 12:13 PM   #2573
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,836
My Mood:
Default

((((((((((((((Aries)))))))))))))))
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-15, 08:30 AM   #2574
dax
TTL Bronze Member
 
dax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California USA
Posts: 6,618
My Mood:
Default

Aries
dax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-15, 12:35 PM   #2575
TTL Platinum Member
 
Aries's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,210
Default Many Thanks....

I want to sincerely thank ALL of the people here, that have always been so kind to me. It's hard to believe so many of you exsist, because in my real life, there are none that do. It's hard to believe, that I deserve any amount(s) of kindness, let alone a few kind hearted individual's, that I've had the privilage of knowing (through many year's) on here. I can't express my most sincere & deepest thanks to so many, who've supported me & all my rollercoaster rides for so long. I hope & pray that your life becomes something truly wonderful, because you're all special. I appreciate all the kind hug's that so many have been here to give me. I appreciate all the selfless acts of kindness, that I thought never exsisted. Thank you, so very much, for being the light in my dark universe. I will deeply miss that. Thank you for many year's of listening, caring, & showing me there's still "heart's that beat in a cold, dark, lonely world." I will truly, miss you & this place.

Remember, you can make it in life, if you only believe you can. No matter how difficult the path's or the journey is, this place IS the "light" that we all come to & shines upon us. When the world turns it's back upon you, remember this place will turn them around. I hope that you all have a good, healthy, & wonderful life. Even if the road's full of potholes. You can "patch them up" & the good people here will be here to help. Many blessing's on you all...
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Aries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-15, 03:53 PM   #2576
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,836
My Mood:
Default

I hope that you find what you seek in life. That it will get fixed. I will miss you a lot. Hope to hear from you soon
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-15, 09:51 PM   #2577
TTL Platinum Member
 
Aries's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,210
Default

nsdimitrije~Thank you for your kind words & thoughts. 's.
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Aries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-15, 02:03 PM   #2578
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,836
My Mood:
Default

(((((((((((((((((((((Aries)))))))))))))))))))))))
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-15, 05:22 PM   #2579
Junior Member
 
Karista's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 112
Default

I wish I knew what to say. I wish I knew what was to be done.

I wish for you, that something will come. Something will change for the better.

And that it will be effortless, and kind, and better.

I can only wish.

K.
__________________
A lot of it has been learning to take my condition seriously, and stop comparing myself to others capabilities, or holding myself to this absurdly high standard that I do. I've had to learn humility, and accept that I might not be up to much - that I have a serious illness. It hurts, but it works.
Karista is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-20, 09:35 PM   #2580
TTL Platinum Member
 
Aries's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,210
Default Oh What The Year's Can Bring...

For many year's I've struggled to keep myself, my life & thing's going within it. So much has changed & not all for the better/best. I've had to endure a lot, not that other's haven't or are not (currently) enduring much these day's. I think I will just list what's happened, as it's been a lot through many year's.


The first thing is, that I finally met my real father. Let me just say, some people are elated that they have been given that opportunity. I will say this. It would have been better had I not met him; ever. He is nothing of what I thought he would be & he couldn't be less concerned about my life, my situation(s) nor my health. He's only concerned himself about his life, his family & he's married (again) for the 2nd or 3rd time. He's offered no (real) reason(s) for the "destruction(s)" he has caused me to endure the majority of my own life. He had more excuses or placing the blame on my (real) mother, which whom he told me passed away at 59 year's of age. That's awfully young. Needless to say, I've decided to put him in my rear view mirror. I understand now, that he can show a great poker hand face, but he has no remorse for what he has done. He also doesn't care to be responsible for what his role in all of what happened. He shifted it all to blame my real mother, whom isn't alive to say her own side of the story. There's always two sides to consider; period.


Skipping ahead. The year's have brought a lot of hard, difficult & trying challenges for myself/my own life. I have been changed so much, at times I don't know who I am any more. It's like, the caring side of me, got 'stuffed down,' deep inside of my heart & I'm just "on cruise control" daily. My daughter got married, many year's back & that has turned into a massive mess. She's now in the middle of a separation (they were married for almost 6 year's), with a boy, not a man, that walked out on her, left her with 5 small children (ages 5 & under) & isn't taking ANY responsibilities for what he (himself) had a hand in creating with her. He left her for another (old) flame, that was about 6 months before her & him met. He met her in a hotel room & refused to come out when my daughter busted him. That says more than anything I could type on here.


Next would be my health. That's been a major source of issues/problems for myself. However, I have to accept what I have, deal with it & keep moving/pushing forward the best that I'm capable. Most day's I'm in massive pain, but have to push through it all. I guess the ole cliché is true..."pain does let you know you're still alive." My colon ruptured last year. I didn't go into the hospital for a day. I didn't know, at that time, it had ruptured. I honestly thought I had the flu. However, the ER doctor told me, that, after a MRI & CT scan that it did. They said they needed to do emergency surgery; now. That one cost me 1 full week in the hospital. I ended up having a colostomy bag for almost 6 months. This past January I had it reversed. It's not easy NOT being able to eat food that you would normally enjoy, but alas it's better than what could have happened to me. I'm grateful for each day I've been given.


That brings me up to currently. I was thinking about all the people that are becoming sick from this current Coronavirus. I thought of how I used to get help from the people on this very website. I managed to find my way back here, after all these year's. I just want to try to "pay it forward" for not only what this site gave me, but what the people here did for me. They never gave up on me & they never quit giving me their support, kindness & more important to me...their time. We can't ever get that back, but we can make good use of it. I've missed this place, the people & the support. I hope I can give back to other's what's been so kindly, unselfishly & sincerely given to me. It gave me hope at the darkest of hours within my life. I'm grateful that it's still here & the people are as well.
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Last edited by Aries; 04-15-20 at 09:38 PM.
Aries is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2