Starting to feel like I'll never amount to much
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Starting to feel like I'll never amount to much

This is a discussion on Starting to feel like I'll never amount to much within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; I always thought by the age of 23 I'd have my shit sorted. But life sucks really doesn't it. The ...

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Old 01-31-15, 06:45 PM   #1
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Question Starting to feel like I'll never amount to much

I always thought by the age of 23 I'd have my shit sorted. But life sucks really doesn't it. The last couple of years have really dragged me down to rock bottom. I have had two bad relationships that have ended in a painful drawn out way. My former housemate and best friend has been so unpleasant that over summer I just felt completely worthless. I graduated uni which I thought bring a fresh beginning but since, haven't been able to find a job in my field. I keep getting fresh hope from companies and then turned down which shatters my confidence. Meanwhile everyone I graduated with seems to be getting amazing opportunities, going on the trip of a lifetime or getting engaged. So I have for the past 8 months now been back living with my parents working part time in the same dead end job that I originally took to support myself whilst studying. I guess I'm used to being busy and working towards a goal and I haven't really achieved or been able to do anything since last June. I feel like I'm stuck in a depressing limbo where I have nothing but my own thoughts for company. I'm just lonely and feel worthless and like there's nothing out there for me. I feel like my early twenties are slipping away from me without me actually using my precious youth. I know this will sound petty and mundane to those of you with bigger problems but I just needed to vent.
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Old 02-01-15, 01:27 PM   #2
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I wouldn't say it was petty.
I only joined this site today because of a relapse.
The relapse was triggered partially by money/success.
It seems we're about the same age too, from what you've said.
I think watching the progress of others can make you look at yourself more negatively than you're even used to. Many of the people I know are married, engaged, have/expecting children too. I've sort of come to decide that it means little to me. (Easier to focus on when I'm feeling less negative of course.)
With wasting away the early twenties, I feel that too. I've also spent them working a lot.
I guess with me, I keep thinking about those awesome people in their fifties who are riding motorbikes and have pink mohawks stuck to their helmets. Or the elegant old woman I saw a few months ago sitting outside a mall near me.
She had these long cream tailored trousers, a soft yellow cardigan, those typical short white curls, and a dear smile. Yet you could see the intense tattoos covering her arms from where she'd pushed her sleeves up.
It's never too late to do you. You'll always be you.
I wish I could help more, but I'm not quite there yet myself.
You're not alone is all I can really offer right now.
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Old 02-03-15, 06:36 AM   #3
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Just to let you know -- it's easy to put a magnifying glass over your own failures.

And most people will talk about the good things in their lives while not mentioning the bad things -- they want to put on a brave face for the outside world. I guarantee you that nobody you know has a life quite as good as they make it seem.

Hang in there.

Pat
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Old 02-03-15, 01:27 PM   #4
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Hey, are you me? Because this could have been written by me. Im 24/f. I graduated in 2012 and had no idea what to do but had a cool temporary job in youth work lined up after I graduated. Since then Ive been a mobile phone technician, spent 3 months in Sierra Leone and been a marketing intern. Im now back home, in the same isolated house and area, which only a few friends that I need to drive to to see. Im working in a shoe shop and have no idea what I am doing with my life or what it is that I even want to do.

I'm going through a bad bout of depression at the moment and like you feel lonely and worthless. I have no real goal and I have too much time on my hands. My friends all seem to know what they are doing, are in relationships or are getting married. I guess this might not be the kind of response you want or need but the point I'm making is that you're not alone. I feel exactly the same way.

I hope things start to look up for both of us soon or at least your depression lifts.
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Old 02-03-15, 10:37 PM   #5
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I heard you Pastelink. I'm sorry about that relationships. I have no input on that to make you feel better, coz I'm not good at that either.

Transition period between after school and the real adult life is quite a grey unclear period. This shady period can be quite challenging but you'll get over it over time. Hang in there. We're here listening.
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Old 02-04-15, 06:28 PM   #6
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Heh. At least you have youth still. I'm 39 and haven't amounted to much. For there to be people to amount to something there have to be people that don't...you know, for comparison. It's like to have a winner you have to have a loser.
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