So depressed....life seems to get no better
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So depressed....life seems to get no better

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Old 10-01-17, 12:16 PM   #1
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Default So depressed....life seems to get no better

I find myself delving into a lot of sadness with the circumstances of my life and the continued heartbreak and devastation with nothing ever seeming to go right in my life. Like nothing ever. I absolutely hate living this life. I am so sad. It is interesting the type of sadness with someone who has a depression diagnosis feels and it feeling differently than just a regular sadness. Hard to explain. It seems to cut deeper.

Why do some people seem so destined to be full of life with little problems and others get to be the Murphy's Law? Before someone wants to answer well that's life and life is full of stress, please please please do not. That answer seems to minimize my feelings and I have had many people tell me I have gotten the short end of the stick in life, that everything seems to happen to me. I have been through so much in life it is enough stress for several people. I do not know how much more disappointment I can handle. AND I do not know how to cope anymore.
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Old 10-01-17, 07:03 PM   #2
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Hi angie, I feel the same way about life. Regrets about choices made, pain about how life turned out. I know it all too well and I haven't been able to turn it around. Nothing seems to work out, ever.

But horrible things happen to a lot of people. It doesn't change your situation but there are others out there who have had enough too. A lot of the times, we don't see them around. They are suffering in silence, most of the time away from the public eye. That is why it sometimes may feel like we are alone. But we are not.

It is good to speak up about your struggles. And whether you do it in therapy or here or wherever, it doesn't really matter. Sometimes just getting the story out can help.

Here is a for you.
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Old 10-02-17, 07:45 PM   #3
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Hey FromTheHeart:

You are right. You articulate this so well. So much truth in not being alone when we feel like it!!

I am so sorry you go through similar plights where nothing works out. :(( And thank you for the hugs. You are definitely an integral part of this group with so much knowledge and wisdom.

I just recently got out of a toxic work environment and a toxic roommate/landlord situation. I went home and it was toxic there too to the point where my grandmother called me a nasty bitch . I honestly have no idea where that came from because I honestly did not do anything wrong. I have not been home in years because it is so toxic there.

I got a new job which is great but I am overqualified for it and it is not where I thought I would be at age 37.

I finally found an apartment. I was told no animals were in it. Animals had been in it and my allergies and asthma were acting up. For some reason I allowed my friend to help me clean and we diluted bleach. Now there is this bleach smell that is not going away for the past week and a half. The landlord did not clean the apartment. This is not a cheap place to live by any means either. The microwave was broken. Carpets had not been cleaned. He had wanted me to magic eraser the walls instead of him simply painting them. He failed to mention a kickboxing class that starts at 530AM from which I could hear from my apartment. He proceeded to tell me he has been in my apt at 530AM and could hear nothing which is BS. The place was so dirty. Stovetop and oven were a mess. It is a cute apartment and in a perfect location to work but now this bleach smell is irritating my throat and eyes and nothing I do gets rid of it. He is willing to let me out of the lease. He is just a hand's off landlord that expects to do nothing.

I have another place I could get but I am so afraid of trading a huge headache for another and it will be more expensive. The other place is not as nice.

I feel with depression major decisions are hard to make. My life for the past 2.5 years has been pretty devastating and traumatic with how the VA (Veterans Affairs) treated me. I just want some semblance of a quality of life. I am having dark thoughts as well because I am so sick and tired of constant problems with no reprieve at all.

I do not even know what I want and have to make a decision quickly. I just sit here and I feel empty about life. Empty about everything. My medical self care treatment has been on hold. I am unmotivated. I don't know what to do.
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Old 10-06-17, 06:48 PM   #4
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Congratulations on your new job, angie. It's great, if they hire you then they believe in you. That should be a boost for your self-esteem.

Jobs that demand higher skills tend to be more stressful. So if you are overqualified you will be able to do it easily, so there will be less stress.
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