My life... and sum drama happenning atm.
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My life... and sum drama happenning atm.

This is a discussion on My life... and sum drama happenning atm. within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; So theres alot of shit kinda happening rite now... me and my girlfriend ahve been going out for 3 weeks ...

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Old 07-12-11, 12:19 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Default My life... and sum drama happenning atm.

So theres alot of shit kinda happening rite now... me and my girlfriend ahve been going out for 3 weeks 1 month on thursday... and weve been going off and on cuz my stupid ass mistakes:/ i been breaking up with her -.- thats why i say stupid... we can like never see each other, she lives around 10 minutes driving 1 hour or so walking... and her parents are dicks :/... i do suffer from depression.. i think its just cause i take everyones problems in.. i say there my fault, reason being i dont want anyone else to be sad... i never have EVER had thoughts about suicide i think its the dumbest thing... i love life but hate the consequences in it... ive had so much shit wrong with my life before some shit started to happen.


Heres my life... cuz i always wanted to tell people... but never anyone that knows me...


I am.. lets just say im jake not my real name but ya...

Im 14 played football for 4 years cant play this year cuz of my grades...
Here it comes from begaining to now..
when i was brought into this world my mom was 16, she did weed and a small amount or cocaine, not much but a lil and has stopped doing drugs after she had me but still did occasionally she still smokes ciggaretes as she has since she was 12... growing up in my life was sort of tough... my mom always had new boyfriends... she was in a gang also till she had me... ive never known who my dad was.. i probably never will... we lived in a small house by my elementry school... i was lucky and lived with my grandparents my grandfather is like my father for me.. since i had no fatherly figure in my life he cared the most out of anyone for me. i often spent the night at my grandparents since they were not far at all only 2 miles or so... They supported my mom's financial needs as she still had work, it wasn't easy for anyone... preschool- 2nd grade i went to a small private school.. luckily you could say but they didnt have the best education system... after that i went to 3rd grade.. i met my first Best friend... Anthony... he was a dorky little kid glasses he was the first one to show me how to cus aha.. and ask a girl out for me..... as i grew i was on a lil popcorner or w/e soccer team from 6-9 or so.. at 4th grade... i went to a new school as we switched sides of the town... luckily my friend came with... 4th grade was were it started to be bad... i was made fun of for my weight (dont remember how much i weighed but i was a lil overweight), this didnt end till freshman year... then i met a kid... me and him were best friends, yet as i didnt know he was a manipulitive backstabber... i was big into computer games... those were my only escape from life i played games from WoW to Runescape... he hacked my runescape account and many other things... he probably teached me the most about life though... hanging out with highschoolers by 5th grade he knew alot, some bs but alot... he knew about sex, and everything thats were i sort of learned it from...
middle school..: this is were the making fun of... kicked into highscale... weighing around 170 in 6th grade and slowly increasing to 180 7th 190 then 200 then 230 (current)
i was made fun of CONSTANTLY
i made new freinds yet they didnt help the best... i was made fun of prolly the most in the school, making my depression kick in.. and my only escape?... computer games... i would say im addicted to the computer being on it atleast 3 hours a day... i lost 4 fights in middleschool... completely loosing all my reputation... making me a gigantic looser.... i was playing football during these times also... which helped a lil... but very lil...
Highschool: i had my first girlfriend... we dated for 3 months... i fell in love fast.... yet we could not see each other cus of a stupid mistake i made by yelling at some random street person... her parents not letting me see her anymore... ofc this didnt stop us... at around 2 months i basiclly stopped talking to her after a month of never being able to see each other... after she broke up with me... she went out with my best friend at the time.. devastating me espicialy since every day at school there sitting in public making out 24/7... and there still going out....

being lead on for 2 years in middle school...and then this... it hurt me alot the feeling that no girl is good... noone is good. luckily i had my music tho... and a couple really good friends... even tho i had so much drama going on at the time... when i look back at my life i cry... i havent included alot of parts and i mean ALOT... my first step-dad divorced and went away from us on christmas day... absolutely devastating me...
life is sorta starting to get better... ive picked up a hobby, fighting, mma style like ufc... and have been training 3 months... im loosing weight quick...


now to whats currently happening...
lets use 2 dif names, Reyen and Lucy
I went to a event that was from 7-10 in the morning..
i met a group of girls, none particulary interested me... so lets skip a lil... I started talking to a girl i met there Reyen.... we got along great and could keep a conversation going for days.. we were just a match... we went out after 4 days of talking, dating for 7 days... then outa nowere she stopped talking to me... i assumed that she was done with me... and i told her on a message that were going to break up since she wouldnt answear a call or reply to a text anything.. meanwhile while she was not talking to me Lucy started talking to me... saying how she likes me and shed date me anytime... but i was with reyen... so after i dumped reyen i asked lucy if she wanted to hang out she said sure!!! and her sister and friend and i and her ofc hung out... it slipped from her sister that she had a boyfriend.. already... i was devasted... i just didnt say anything and acted like i didnt hear anything... i asked her on facebook if it was true and she said yes... i didnt know what to do... reyen started talking to me a week later i asked her why she wasnt talking to me... she just said cuz shes a bitch... i told her she isnt... i know shes not like that... for about a 1hour.. then she finally said... hey wanna know really why.. and apparently sum1 told her i liked lucy's sister when i didnt... we went out for 1 day after a week again.. and hung out and made out.. she broke up with me following day... then i started talking to lucy again... and we ended up talking for a while and i asked her out and she said yes... reyen and her are best friends... weve been going out for a while like i said off and on... with me and lucy.. and recently she broke up with me... for 2 days or so... she said i just wanna be friends.... then later messaged me asked me what i was doing ext and i asked her and she replied "Talking to austin <3" implying she was starting to like him... 2 hours after we broke up... this was like a big F U to my face... then reyen started to talk to me... and we played the question game texting.. she said do you still love me?? and i said idk i still have feelings for you i mean theylle never go away... i asked her same question back and she said yes... now she was coming onto me... we hung out and made out... and lucy got word that we were going out.. and we were going to... she immediatly started a shitload of drama about it and went on to be mad at me... on the way home reyen texted me, saying i just wanna be friends after kissing and making out and everything.... this hurt me even more... now reyen and lucy hate me... now im just clueless dont know where to go... and now reyen and lucy arent friends anymore.. adn they were BEST FRIENDS.... then i feel even more bad... then reyen told everyone that im only dating lucy cus i cant get anybody else causing even more problems... this wasnt true.. i still loved lucy... and it took me a day to realise... what the fuck have i done...

were going back out now but its still hard we barely hang out and i never know what to do to make it better... ya... like i said theres alot more shit that happened in my life but im not putting it in... its more personal... sorry...
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