I'm making mistakes.
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I'm making mistakes.

This is a discussion on I'm making mistakes. within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; I told someone. It made it better, yeah, but I'm ashamed. I really hope he's not reading this. He's one ...

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Old 08-23-11, 01:43 AM   #1
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Default I'm making mistakes.

I told someone. It made it better, yeah, but I'm ashamed. I really hope he's not reading this. He's one of my best friends. He's the only one I knew I could trust. But... now... I feel obligated to get help. Talking to him just made me realize how many people I'm disappointing by feeling like this. I'm fucking sick and I HATE it. I hate that I can't see my future.
Me and him made a bet. If his wife's name begins with an L or H, I get 5 dollars. I promised him something I know I won't be able to keep. Now that I told him, I feel like I'll be letting him down so hard... if... y'know, something UNFORTUNATE happens to me. In a way, telling him made it worse. I put all this on someone else. I told him I'd be fine. I lied to him. No, it probably sounds like nothing... but to me... I made a huge fucking mistake and made myself a grade A asshole. Everything I've done, everything I told him, just assured me more that I can never and will never tell anyone.
I fucked up harder than I can even say.
Shit.
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Old 08-23-11, 02:55 AM   #2
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Not quite sure whether I get you. But everybody makes mistakes. Is there anyway you can talk to him to straighten things up. Or maybe you wanna to wait until you feel better and more relax. There's always ways to fix it.
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Old 08-23-11, 10:34 AM   #3
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Yeah, this post was confusing, sorry! I was just so messed up... I didnt even know what I was feeling, but I knew it was guilt.
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