im a disappointment to my dad and stepmom. I don't understand how I can just mess everything up but I don't even do anything. I sometimes wish I was someone else or someone they wish I was. ive gotten to a really low point in my life again and everything has just been so downhill. I feel like I should be on meds again but my stepmom refuses to put me on them. but they helped, I was never sad. I was happy and I liked that me but now I feel everything. I hate my depression and trust me ive tried to conquer it. I end up failing. I just feel lost and everywhere. I don't understand how ive gotten to this point. I hate opening up to people but I need to vent. I'm breaking and I feel so out of it. I wish I had answers to how I could be a better son.