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im 24 and i feel like i was 60...

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Old 10-05-10, 07:22 PM   #11
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you just dont throw away 5 years and plans for the future just like that. YOU DONT
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Old 10-05-10, 08:56 PM   #12
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I've been through all this before too, I'm not much older then you.

It won't come as much of comfort now, seeing it'll feel like "it's easier said then done". But things will eventually get better. The heart break will pass, even though it doesn't feel like it. You'll eventually find something that makes you whole. Be it a job, hobby or girl.

All I can say buddy is be strong. You've been through worse. Let that be your consolation and battle cry!

Yes, people throw away a lot without hesitation. They find something better and they jump on the chance. It's life, and a lesson you'll have to learn so better now when you're 24 then when you're 42!

Last edited by TakeMyLife; 10-05-10 at 08:57 PM. Reason: See *Edit*
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Old 11-19-10, 08:20 PM   #13
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for the past 6 years i couldnt cry.

i want to cry so bad.

what can i do to make myself cry?

please. help me.
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Old 12-11-10, 03:19 PM   #14
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thats it. i think i havce reached the bottom. yesterday i got drunk, and i went to a brothel. i had sex with a prostitute and now im scared that i might have got some sort of std or hiv.

i should have seen that one coming. whenever things go bad, there is a breaking point. i always end up doing something stupid. and this time this was it. i have never ever done anything as stupid as that before. its the stupidest thing i have ever done.

now i need to get tested, and pray that everythings fine. even though i wore a condom, i am stil so worried. i dont wanna die yet. but i dont wanna live this way anymore.

i hate the person i am right now.

please, god have mercy on me.

please let everything be fine. please.
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Old 12-12-10, 04:03 PM   #15
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please, could someone tell me a good word?

im going out of my mind. im going to take an std test tomorrow.

im completely on my own, im so lost, im so afraid one mistake could have end up my life.

please, help me. please.
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Old 12-13-10, 12:04 AM   #16
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JDoe, you're not alone. I've seen at least 3 users here talk about going to a prostitute. I know how it feels. In fact your thread title sounds exactly like something I could've written. I'm also 24 and often say I'm like a 60 year old too. I never had a GF or sex. It's good that you're getting tested for STD, I can only imagine how daunting that is.
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Old 12-13-10, 04:48 AM   #17
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Hello Jdoe. I am 19 years old and I feel the same way you do. I feel stuck, overwhelmed, bored, frustrated to no end. All of the things I enjoy doing I no longer see any point in doing. Life feels like a cruel game. I feel like I am part of a world in which I do not belong. All I seem to notice is how everyone else is doing okay, everyone else seems capable and they seem like they belong. The people who I have tried to connect with and open up to are incapable of understanding the way that I feel, the way I see the world and my life. I am not suicidal and don't want to harm myself, rather I wish that I believed in life enough to WANT to kill myself. I wish I believed in something enough that I would die for it. I used to believe in morality and purity and righteousness, but like you, I have become bitter and spiteful. I can't cry anymore either and it makes me feel numb and inhuman. I worry about what I am becoming, what I've already become. I worry about everything, but must pretend that I am fine for the sake of surviving in a world full of people with whom I cannot connect, people who could never understand.

The pressure to be normal, the guilt you feel, I feel it too mate. And I know that there are hundreds more that feel it too. Your post has over 500 views. Why? Because people (me included) read the title of your post and said 'you know what, me too'.

I wish that i could help you man. I wish i could help myself and i wish i could help everyone else who feels like this. While I can't offer any solution for you, I can offer you the simple fact that while you are absolutely, 99% alone, fighting for your life, there are people in this world, real people, who are going through the same shit.

To be honest, I actually laughed a few times reading your posts because you seriously remind me so much of myself it's fucking crazy!

I admire your honesty friend, I admire your courage to keep throwing punches even though life is fucking you in the arse, I admire your sensibility in the face of a senseless, fucked up world where idiots seem to prosper and live blissful lives while we seem to fall short of everything and spend forever searching for answers to questions nobody else ever seems to ask or understand. I admire you for who you are mate.

Love from Australia
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Old 12-13-10, 01:18 PM   #18
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Hey J.Doe, jak sie masz dzisiaj? (how are you today?)

I just read your entire thread. And wow, I can relate. We have lived completely separate lives but we are similar (but very different as well).

Anyways, I am 24 years too. I feel like I am 60. I have chronic pain from a couple car accidents I was in. I have severe depression.
I was brought up with similar values (both parents are polish) and the values I was raised with does not reflect today's society what so ever. It is very frustrating. I am nice to everyone, and they take advantage of it and step all over me.

The only advice I can offer is this. You know what needs change in your life, so try to change it (way easier said than done, of course) Instead of focusing your energy on the negatives that life has brought you, try to find the silver lining on the dark clouds. It might take a while. Nothing happens over night. But you are still young and have opportunity to make change.
Time helps to heal all wounds. Just know you are still young (even though you do not feel like it) and you do HAVE time.

I would also suggest looking into a community counselor? I do not really know what the health system is like in the UK.

Also, try not to worry too much about getting your test results. If you wore a condom, I am sure you will be fine (but its always a good idea to get checked out anyways). It is a stressful thing to go through, and the thoughts can be very scary and overwhelming. Just know this: the most common types of STDs are VERY curable!

Hang in there brother! If you would like to talk, do not hesitate to send me a message. I am a good listener (reader), may not have the right words all the time, but I am a good person who will listen and validate you if you need to vent.
Good luck.
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