I resent my friends because they're happy...?
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I resent my friends because they're happy...?

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Old 03-13-10, 11:05 AM   #1
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Default I resent my friends because they're happy...?

When I see my friends smiling and laughing I get really irritated. I don't know if I'm jealous that it's so easy for them to be happy or if I just feel alienated or what. I feel really guilty, though--these are my friends, I should be happy that they're happy! They're always totally understanding and sympathetic when I'm feeling down...they ask if I want a hug or email me a funny video...but I wish sometimes THEY would be the ones to call ME up crying because they feel lonely and sad for no reason. I know that's a horrible and selfish way to think, but I can't help it.
Does anyone know what I mean? Or have advice? I feel like such a terrible friend.
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Old 03-13-10, 11:17 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by peterpan View Post
When I see my friends smiling and laughing I get really irritated. I don't know if I'm jealous that it's so easy for them to be happy or if I just feel alienated or what. I feel really guilty, though--these are my friends, I should be happy that they're happy! They're always totally understanding and sympathetic when I'm feeling down...they ask if I want a hug or email me a funny video...but I wish sometimes THEY would be the ones to call ME up crying because they feel lonely and sad for no reason. I know that's a horrible and selfish way to think, but I can't help it.
Does anyone know what I mean? Or have advice? I feel like such a terrible friend.
Hello and welcome to TTL

I don't think this is selfish at all, I think you just want to find someone who understands your problems. I know I do this a lot although luckily I have found out one of my friends has some problems as well and we offer support to each other.

I think you'll find that support here there and you'll definately find a lot of people who understand and can sympathise.
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Old 03-13-10, 11:35 AM   #3
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I understand. I feel often jealous about my friends because they have so many more people that seem to care about them. I hate feeling this way because I would rather feel happy for their success.
The only advice I can give is this, and it doesn't always work for me...so it is not the best:
When you feel jealous, think about. You want something that you don't have. Want is more healthy than envy. Try to come up with what you can do to eventually have what it is you want. Work on it and recognize (to yourself) that you are working on it.
You are not a terrible friend--clearly you want to treat your friends right and are thankful for how they treat you. That is a sign of a good friend.
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Old 03-13-10, 01:11 PM   #4
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Most of my mates have nothing material for me to be jealous of em for, unemployed, drink a lot, always broke etc.... but it does always get to me if they get a girl, usually without looking or without leaving the house, or have any $$$. I mean it`s usually through a friend of the family or whatever, and no oil paintings or nothing but it`s still a bit of company for em. Then you go club spend ages looking great, try not to get too mashed and come home empty handed. while they`ve pulled sitting there eating a pot noodle and watching eastenders, sitting on their battered couch. Maybe they got lower standards, or being beyond caring about themselves may give them a twisted type of confidence, i`m not sure, but somehow sitting around not going out for ten years they`ve got a bird on their arm. I Must definately be doing something wrong lol
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Old 03-13-10, 02:38 PM   #5
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I feel the same way around anyone, friends or strangers. Follows me everywhere, the comparisons and all. I too wish the places were sometimes reversed and they would be upset and I would be happy... so you're definitely not alone.
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Old 03-13-10, 03:12 PM   #6
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yes I can relate, but I too have some friends who are dealing with depression.I know its hard to be happy around those who seem to have life wrapped around their fingers. I often wonder what it would be like to be like them, but then I think how do we know that others are happy? I get jealous envy too. you should'nt feel guilty- its natural for people whom are depressed to feel this way. At least your friends are understanding when your down. That's a true friend. Just remember that Not all people are truely happy .Everyone has downs. even your friends, though i am sure you know it. [[hugs]]
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Old 03-14-10, 08:40 PM   #7
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Thanks guys. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I'm sure you're right, my friends probably aren't really happy all the time...it just seems that way because they're happy more than I am.
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Old 03-14-10, 11:17 PM   #8
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You are not alone I feel that way around people laughing and having fun. Not all the time but enough.
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Old 03-15-10, 06:59 PM   #9
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I also experience this, mostly when I feel really low and nothing is going my way. I get really jealous of people when they succeed or do something I want to do or get praise. It makes me feel like a really horrible and ugly person at times.
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