I have spent the last 5 years in a state of depression. I have felt totally detatched from others, from my emotions, and moronic and completely fatigued in my interactions with others.
Now I am starting to get radically better.
What I have come to realise is that depression is a temporary sickness which passes very easily and naturally if you just let it. What I mean by that is that although our lives seem consumed by a seemingly endless and despairing inability to function when we are depressed, we are actually completely fine. Depression is just a natural way for our body to cope with some trauma(subconcious/concious/whatever). But we get so disturbed by the experience, and so depressed by our own depression, that we never give ourselves the chance to get better.
What you need to realise is that you are completely fine within. More than that, you are bursting with life, energy, inspiration and sanity. Depression is in part due to us suppressing all this life inside. Maybe this is cause we can't find a release for sadness at someone we've lost, or frustration because of something guilty we've done. Whatever. Our body, mind and soul is desperate to find an energetic release for all this life inside of us but WE CHOSE OURSELVES TO REPRESS ALL THIS ENERGY and our body reacts in kind by making us feel depressed. It's like choosing not to eat and then wondering why we are hungry and when we will ever feel full.
The more you focus on how hungry you are, the more you will not see the obvious solution- eating!
So we need to start getting energetic and excited about life, and stop contemplating our own condition.(You don't need to fake feeling excited, or pretend or anything like that, just find someting, anything that makes you feel a bit alive) Maybe this is difficult to accept, but when you start to get better and see that all your marbles are still there,and all your life and strength are still there, it will become obvious.
So how do you 'get excited about life'. Well you certainly don't need to dig up old memories, although perhaps this might help, though it would take a long time. Digging up old memories basically shows you that you caused your own depression by repressing a memory, and so you see how you don't need to be depressed any more and you can get on with your life.
But you can realise this without digging up the memory(think about all the millions of old unpleasant experiences we have had that we would prefer to forget).
Again how do you 'get excited about life'? For a long time I tried doing things that I thought I liked but actually found a bit boring(like I love jazz, but practicing my sax didn't do it for me..). You simply need to have a think about what you'd really like to do and make it happen. Remember that you are absolutely fine inside (even though you can't see it) and just need to pin all your repressed energy on something to find the release and breakthorugh you crave. I'd say social things are good, physical things are good. creative things are good. If you can combine all three, perfect! Just try and think about what would really stimulate you and go for it. If it doesn't stimulate you don't do it. But be fair.. have a long think about what you'd really like to do, and start living again. Please, it is worth it. Don't worry about any of that rubbish keeping you down. You don't need to 'deal' with it. You just aren't thinking straight, but as soon as you start to get a bit excited about the world this whole cloud of negativity will lift. I found through lots of trial and error that it is not worth engaging with. Remember that it is just this stupid depression that makes you feel bad. When you get better EVERYTHING gets better, you can be yourself with family and friends, organise your life, feel good etc. And it all just happens naturally. But just have a think about what sort of thing you'd like to do. Be true to yourself. Not what you think you should do but what you'd actually like to do. If you trust yourself life is a whole lot easier. And just let yourself be depressed if you start thinking to much about it so you don't get caught up in some stupid thought cycle. But if you just spend your time working out how to do something that will get your juices going again, then you shouldn't focus on your depression too much. Basically let your self be depressed while you find the things that can bring you out of this darkness. Don't fight the darkness at all, let it be, but just sort of ignore it realising it is just a temporary sickness, and start putting some of that trapped energy out into the world. You will be yourself again!!!!
By the way, I have started to get into woodwork and volunteering at local city farms building stuff.
Enjoy getting better!