How do you build self-confidence when you fail at everything?
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Depression Forums > Depression


How do you build self-confidence when you fail at everything?

This is a discussion on How do you build self-confidence when you fail at everything? within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; When you try with your few strengths, with a desperate hope that they might work out, and build on self-confidence, ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-21-19, 11:35 PM   #1
Junior Member
 
vassily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Below C Level
Posts: 62
My Mood:
Unhappy How do you build self-confidence when you fail at everything?

When you try with your few strengths,
with a desperate hope that they might work out,
and build on self-confidence,
believing that you (too) could be good at something.

and fail, over and over again?
vassily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-19, 10:13 AM   #2
Member
 
tigerlover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: i am in Europe(Belgium)
Posts: 552
My Mood:
Default

O.K,Vassily...then i answer to your posting=lack of willpower and determination...when we fight an inner conflict we often go to point zero==nothing works,everything seems useless,negative and disturbing..i've been there,listen==all of us on this forum have been there..I often ask myself about my OCD and i examine myself deeply and often come to the conclusion that a disturbance happens again and again...i like a challenge,a fight,even within myself...I know lots of peeps here feel insecure,anxious and angry...sometimes in my life i felt useless,worthless,prone to stress situations..i bet all of us go through periods in our life circle that we are full of doubt about ourself,others,the world..stress is a main factor for bodily and mental problems..how do we handle it?fight it?anger in a way can be difficult to control,especially if we bottle it up..that bubble will burts one fine day.i do like honesty..people who beat around the bush usually will pay a price for it later in life..perfection does not exist..that's why some of us feel useless..and turn themselves away from the world they are forced to live in..I did,by the way..and i am glad to say that leading a loners life..gave me insight..not only in myself,but also towards the world,other people..and in that aspect it reduced my stress factors..
__________________
**Clouds come floating in my life,no longer to carry rain or usher storm,but to add colour to my sunset sky**

Last edited by tigerlover; 07-22-19 at 10:15 AM.
tigerlover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-19, 01:20 AM   #3
Junior Member
 
vassily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Below C Level
Posts: 62
My Mood:
Unhappy Been there, done that.

If anything, It's not for the want of trying or determination
I have 27 years worth of failed attempts to show for my lack of self-esteem,

and unfortunately, try as I might, shutting myself in didn't work. There are too many success stories to be seen and heard in my daily life to highlight my failings and destroy any attempt at building self-esteem.

That is, How do you start believing in yourself when everything you try (for years) goes up in smoke? When you see (daily) everyone else making it 2x faster with a fraction of your effort? When they catch up to you and ask how you're doing? When the awkwardness, shame and guilt feel as though your insides are being rubbed with sandpaper?

I might as well be deaf and blind.

[I apologize if this sounds offensive]
vassily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-19, 12:00 AM   #4
Junior Member
 
TheSilentGrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 170
My Mood:
Default

Hey vassily.

It seems to me that you're comparing yourself too much to other people. The human race is massive, there are going to be a lot of highly skilled individuals and plenty of success stories to go around. Focus on yourself, and making progress, even if it's just small steps. Be proud in your own progress, and in that you're trying your best to work towards something.

In my case, I like to dabble in a lot of different hobbies, and in every hobby there's always someone who's better than me by miles. Often times, the best people in something are super focused on that one individual thing- so they have tons of time to hone their skills. It is super discouraging to try something new, or been doing something and have the majority of people performing better, but a lot of the time hard work is what led people to be where they are. Sure there's always talented people who can climb faster, but not everyone who's good is talented. It is easy to look at someone and say "they're just talented" when they would work themselves to death to get to where they are.

Failures are the building blocks to successes, treat every failure as a step towards your goal. I know this sounds disgustingly optimistic, but, I really believe it to be true. When you fail at something, if you analyze why it went badly, you have more experience in whatever it was you were doing. Perhaps you haven't even found your true calling yet- I'm sure there's some things you haven't dabbled in which you might have some innate talent in.

I hope you can make progress towards your goals.
TheSilentGrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-19, 08:14 PM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 649
My Mood:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vassily View Post
If anything, It's not for the want of trying or determination
I have 27 years worth of failed attempts to show for my lack of self-esteem,

and unfortunately, try as I might, shutting myself in didn't work. There are too many success stories to be seen and heard in my daily life to highlight my failings and destroy any attempt at building self-esteem.

That is, How do you start believing in yourself when everything you try (for years) goes up in smoke? When you see (daily) everyone else making it 2x faster with a fraction of your effort? When they catch up to you and ask how you're doing? When the awkwardness, shame and guilt feel as though your insides are being rubbed with sandpaper?

I might as well be deaf and blind.

[I apologize if this sounds offensive]
OMG this just rings the bell so close to home. I am almost 34 and exactly at that place you are describing. Years and years and years of trying to build something, creating and working on "projects" only to fail EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!! And no, I am not dumb or crippled, and yes very determined, hard working and conscientious.
YET nothing seem to work out at the end for me.

That shame, guilt and awkwardness you are describing, drove me to a place, where I don't meet or talk with other people anymore, unless absolutely necessary. I quit all my social media. I dodge the remaining friends by making up reasons not to meet or talk (busy, sick, out of town).

A couple people called recently, checking if I was ok, cause they haven't heard from me in over a year. Well...I had nothing to tell them, cause I don't want to broadcast, that I am a loser, but it's exactly what I am.

I am trying to make peace with it, by telling myself, that may be it's just my destiny, may be I am paying for some sins from my previous life, may be this is my cross I have to carry, may be I am not so brilliant after all and may be I am missing something in my psyche or mental or cognitive abilities that I don't recognize..So, some people are successful and happy and some people are not. I guess I am the latter one.

I make this "peace" with myself. Then I come up with a new project, I put all my heart and soul in it, all the effort and time, thinking "this is it, I found something for myself, this is the first brick to a new foundation" only to fail and burn again.

Sometimes I cry and beg God or whoever is out there to let me start over, because this simulation is just too painful and its not working for me. I don't know how to live with all this.

If you ever find your edge, or a way to break through this. please let me know.
__________________
The essence of life is growth.

The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place. And I don't care how tough you are, it'll beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You'll be a nobody. It's going to hit as hard as life. But it's not about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward...

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
InSearchOfPeople is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-19, 12:23 AM   #6
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 20
My Mood:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by InSearchOfPeople View Post
OMG this just rings the bell so close to home. I am almost 34 and exactly at that place you are describing. Years and years and years of trying to build something, creating and working on "projects" only to fail EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!! And no, I am not dumb or crippled, and yes very determined, hard working and conscientious.
YET nothing seem to work out at the end for me.

That shame, guilt and awkwardness you are describing, drove me to a place, where I don't meet or talk with other people anymore, unless absolutely necessary. I quit all my social media. I dodge the remaining friends by making up reasons not to meet or talk (busy, sick, out of town).

A couple people called recently, checking if I was ok, cause they haven't heard from me in over a year. Well...I had nothing to tell them, cause I don't want to broadcast, that I am a loser, but it's exactly what I am.

I am trying to make peace with it, by telling myself, that may be it's just my destiny, may be I am paying for some sins from my previous life, may be this is my cross I have to carry, may be I am not so brilliant after all and may be I am missing something in my psyche or mental or cognitive abilities that I don't recognize..So, some people are successful and happy and some people are not. I guess I am the latter one.

I make this "peace" with myself. Then I come up with a new project, I put all my heart and soul in it, all the effort and time, thinking "this is it, I found something for myself, this is the first brick to a new foundation" only to fail and burn again.

Sometimes I cry and beg God or whoever is out there to let me start over, because this simulation is just too painful and its not working for me. I don't know how to live with all this.

If you ever find your edge, or a way to break through this. please let me know.

Same here. I fail at almost everything and in some cases the more I try the more I fail. I know they said people like Einstein failed many times. The problem is they were innovative. I'm creative sure but innovative? I don't think so. The other problem is failure isn't something I can cope with in the modern world. I have to make money and I'm not making enough. I'm also intellectually unstimulated in my job. It took me 6 years to get any job and I didn't even want it. I just took it because no one else would hire me.
Nickchick is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:13 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2