Hey there I know what its like to live with an aggressive parent who wrecks your nerves, though luckily you don't get physically abused. Your dad is a grown man and from what ails him God only knows. He is bound by his own mind and like a child he throws tantrums out of desperation and confusion. You must take pity but not mind of such a person. His twisted psychology has probably resulted in most of the trust issues which you have today. He will likely take these demons to the next life with him, but you don't have to have to take yours.
So enough about your father, he isn't the one who is seeking help. But you are, aren't you? I read your post from November and it seems like your chained down to a very scared and lonely world. What you need is what I need, a warm human connection. I enjoy your username, you realize Frodo wouldn't have gotten very far if not for Sam. While I may not live up to the status of Samwise the brave, I could be a friend to confide in if you're looking for such a thing. There's a little Sam in all of us, isn't there? But let's take a step back. How can we alter this perspective of yours for the better, can you drop your guard and be vulnerable in a world which has taught you that doing so is a fools death wish? Well it isn't, it's the only way out of this mental prison which you're hiding in.
My life has likely been several shades dimmer than yours, not to discredit your pain. What I need is a single person to make me feel needed. So if I could help you, I would be helping myself too. So take this message as both me helping and me asking for help. You've never had a boyfriend, I've never had a girlfriend. You don't know whose looking back at you in the mirror, neither do I. My name is David and I'm 26. Below I'll paste a poem and a video, take them as part of my application to be your friend.
I frolic in the fields of fiction,
Since the real world isn't my ideal depiction.
Sweep me away to a far off land,
Let me embrace an elf maidens shimmering hand.
Have dragons fall before my sword,
Make armies bow before my horde.
Allow me to chase down my shadow to the end of the earth,
So I can know what I am truly worth.
May I gain my wizards staff,
Where I will conjure up whimsical spells so all can laugh.
Watch me run my finger down my axe,
Making those who oppose me know it is no time to relax.
Tom Bombadil and I can joyfully sing,
After I give him the one ring.
I want to soar on the wings of an eagle,
That way I wouldn't have to be guided by Smeagol.
Move me at the speed of light,
Embracing distant love will now be an easy plight.
Give me a boat to travel the mighty sea,
Don't have the captain be bound by a hefty fee.
Me and a dwarf can have a drink,
As I give the nearby pretty ladies a welcoming wink.
While I'm crossing a bridge I can meet a troll,
Eluding his trickery I will retain my soul.
All these things and more I wish could take place,
However it is realities limitations that I must face.
Thankfully I am blessed with an imaginative mind,
So the realm of fantasy isn't too hard to find.