Have I been depressed for the past 5 years?
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Depression Forums > Depression


Have I been depressed for the past 5 years?

This is a discussion on Have I been depressed for the past 5 years? within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Am I depressed or low in mood or stressed? I think I have felt like this for 5 years, could ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-18-14, 08:21 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2
My Mood:
Default Have I been depressed for the past 5 years?

Am I depressed or low in mood or stressed?

I think I have felt like this for 5 years, could be more.
I met my father when I was 14/15 (I am now almost 23). I didnít see him many times. It was always me putting in the effort. In the end, I told him I want nothing to do with him because it hurt me to think that he didnít want to know. But it has not made any difference in how I feel.

It is worse during December to February (Christmas and my birthday). Every card that comes through that letter box, I am secretly hoping it's from him. The disappointment hits me hard. But I hate him. Why do I want him to contact me? I am like it throughout the year too. When I actually have time to think about myself and my own problems, I break down. But to pick myself up, I always think how bad other's lives are. How other's have it a lot worse off than myself. How I should appreciate my life how it is. And then I feel selfish.

I cry uncontrollably, I feel sad, I feel irritated a lot of the time, I can be horrible and short with my family and friends, I feel empty, I have regular headaches, I get chest pains when I feel stressed. I like being alone.

Sometimes I blame him, sometimes I blame myself.

I turned to a bottle of spirit when I was younger to try and push the feelings away.
I have gone on with life, trying to push all the feelings to the back of my head. But I hate the person I have become. I have not told anyone. I thought that the feelings would go away by trying to forget, trying to keep myself occupied. Sometimes I think if my life is worth living. I have had self harm thoughts in the past but I will never go as far as doing it.

I have also had two close friends who committed suicide, close family members pass away. I think it has all got on top of me. Too much for me to keep it shut away.

I want these feelings of darkness and sadness to go away. I donít want to get irritated with my family and friends for absolute no reason. I am fed up with crying. I have tried so hard to overcome these feelings. I feel alone. I have not told a soul how I really feel.

Should I go to see my GP?
What will the doctor say to me?
What will they do to help?

I am new to this but thought talking to a stranger may help.
shortyjay21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-14, 01:16 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,836
My Mood:
Default

I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.

I strongly suggest visiting psychologist. Talk out your feeling and see what happens. They can really do great job in sorting peoples feelings. Or if that doesnt work, you can visit psychiatrist. :)

You can also add exercise and meditation in your life style, it helped many people.

You will feel better, just try everything. Fight the depression. I am, no, we are cheering for you!!!

Best wishes.
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-14, 01:49 PM   #3
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2
My Mood:
Default

Thank-you so much for the support and information! I am glad that I have joined this forum. It appears safe and non-judgmental.
I think I have to see a GP to see a psychologist :/

Thanks again. All the best :)
shortyjay21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-14, 10:49 PM   #4
Experienced Member
 
rememberthegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: At the Gates of Midian
Posts: 2,057
My Mood:
Default

I'm sorry to hear about all of your issues, that's a lot for one person to deal and cope with. I agree with nsd, I think that you really should see a doctor and get a referral to a psychologist. Sounds like you need to learn some coping skills, which will help you rationalise things more. And even just talking about your problems to someone who is impartial can do a world of good (like this place).

If I can advise one thing, it would be to try seeing a psychologist before going onto meds. Try to find out if you really need them first because some of them have some pretty bad side effects. Personally, I would love to be off them for that reason but I can't cope so well without them.
__________________
I'm scared to get close, I hate being alone... I long for that feeling to not feel at all...
rememberthegirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:26 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2022 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2022 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2