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Greater than I' am

This is a discussion on Greater than I' am within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; How do you believe you're important and begin to build self-confidence when everyone you know is miles ahead of you ...

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Old 07-24-18, 03:05 AM   #1
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Unhappy Greater than I' am

How do you believe you're important and begin to build self-confidence when everyone you know is miles ahead of you in all aspects of life? Every time you look up trying to build even a small faith, you are immediately snowballed with stories of good grades, graduations, successful careers, glamorous social lives, romantic relationships, expensive vacations, marriages, families and kids of everyone you know.

I' am not jealous and am aware that life isn't meant to be fair. but I often wonder, why couldn't it have been me? I too would like to be a popular guy, be admired and sought for by others and enjoy the better things in life, instead of being an unattractive, socially awkward guy stuck at a low end job who struggles to make ends meet.

Is it possible to forget/erase everyone you know from memory and build self-confidence? I' have severe self hatred, depression, anxiety as a result of a long history of being talked down to and laughed at by others. I've tried talking to friends, therapy, medications and even withdrawing from social life to avoid pain but none have been successful. All attempts ended as costly failures.
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Old 07-24-18, 08:53 AM   #2
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Old 08-01-18, 01:30 AM   #3
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You are important without those things. Self-confidence comes from within. I doubt you'd be able to erase your memory but build on what you don't know you have rather than what you don't have. Going by your posts you have friends and excellent communication skills. You might have a lot within you, that you don't know of. Take care.
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Old 08-27-18, 08:31 PM   #5
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I think the trouble is comparing yourself to others instead of being you and the unique person you are.
Perhaps you dont need to have all those things
i for example have none of those things at all and i feel good about who i am cos i have other gifts and talents that i didnt know i had when i was younger ive developed them over the last thirty years.
Im not saying it will take you that long. But the worst thing you can do is compare youurself and also dont listen to ppl that tell you that your rubbish and laugh at you.

You have to build confidence in yourself about yourself not about you and what you dont have but what you do have. When i was younger i thought i had no talents and no hope. That i was a loser and always would be cos thats the way everyone treated me including my family.
But i did alot of work on myself over the years.
where i started was self help books. That built my confidence and gave me skills i didnt have before.
So that wud maybe be a good place to start. ''Feel the fear and do it anyway'' by susan jeffers is a classic thats the one i started with.

Its not a matter of changing but growing and becoming the person you truely are without all the crap covering it over all the crap from other people that you have absorbed about yourself its simply not true and that the first step realising you are important and you do matter your life is precious and unique.
And follow what you love and what your attracted to. You dont have to be the rich popular guy that is life and soul of all the great parties he gets invited to with his beautiful perfect wife. That maybe just not your path. But you can make your own path something different. It may take awhile for you to realise what that is and i would say it takes work.

i really hope some of that helps good luck
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depression, self esteem

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