Faced with no choice....
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Faced with no choice....

This is a discussion on Faced with no choice.... within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; it is long overdue.... but i can no longer live with my parents. its a long story but my options ...

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Old 07-20-09, 01:28 AM   #1
dax
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it is long overdue.... but i can no longer live with my parents. its a long story but my options are this:

1. stay within 1-2 hours of current job which is slow but with a supportive boss. then purchase a mobile home for the same price i would be renting month to month elsewhere and get part time job.

2. move far away from everything i know.... down south where 3 childhood friends live but i'll have no job and just my savings to get me by till i do. socially, it would help alot as i have more in common with them than the few remaining childhood friends (except one) that are even close to where i live now.

both have a shot of me being genuinely happier and ironically both have the same depressing chance of making me just as miserable. the first choice has a temporary safetly net as my boss would sincerely try and help me.... but even with that it would realistically only be a temporary means as i wouldn't want to over stay my welcome and endanger my means for survival.

not asking for someone to tell me which one is better, but your point of view on why i should pick one over the other may point out things i have not considered. i have enough to last one year even if i was unemployed on my own. so it all comes down to this choice 1 has bigger potential financial support, but alot lower social support. choice 2 has bigger social support (which aids me not being depressed), but lower financial support.

i'm not a materialistic person....but there needs to be enough to survive and enough to support a special someone in my life should that happen anytime soon. your thoughts on this appreciated..

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Old 07-20-09, 12:15 PM   #2
 
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Dax

Nobody here will make the decision for you as you say. I do not even want to encourage you to leave your parents.

I will just point out one flaw in No. 2. Moving close to childhood friends? That should not be a factor in your decision. It could be a bonus if you moved for another reason. Why? Because your friends would probably not like it. They would feel that a lot would be expected of them and that would make them uncomfortable. Having a friend leave his parents and use his life savings to be close to me and other people would make me uncomfortable, even if that was only a very small part of the reason he moved.


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Old 07-20-09, 01:04 PM   #3
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I am thinking first one and then two.. Moving out by itself can be a big step, maybe you can work on that first, and then move closer to your friends later? How about making new friends where you are? Though I can understand that moving to your friends now is tempting too. Feeling alone is not good for depression, you're right. Though I see Bradley's point, moving just for friendship's sake might work against you, though only you can know that, cause you know your friends and your relationship. :) No matter what the choice, I wish you the best. And I hope it will make you happier. *hugs*
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Old 07-20-09, 09:06 PM   #4
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thanks bradley and mitza.... believe me, i definately weighed in on this....ALOT, especially being a mental burden on my friends. truth is it is indeed a bonus them being there, but they are not the main reason for moving nor would i rely upon them....although i would love to simply hang out and get to know each other a second time. i like the area, its near the beach, good weather, there's alot of social things to do and far more oppurtunities to meet my own social niche with people i have far more in common. there's also a bigger scene as far as dating goes and this is not the first time on my own.
i want to live....i am finally at a point that i really want to live and have some semblence of a life. i want to be in the company of people that i can make laugh, that appreciate my company and don't make it a point to judge me. i want to go camping, rock climbing, surfing, snowboarding, enjoy concerts, experience new things..... in short i'd like a second shot at life and both of the above choices are bonuses for me to accomplish this.
i once made the huge mistake of sacrificing so much for my job that i didn't factor how important it was if i really liked where i lived and had enough to do the simple things to be happy. the truth of it was, i didn't like my environment or the type of people that were all too common socially and what they were into, the other things to do were all way too expensive for my budget to get into and from the brief social experiences i had....simply not for me.
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Old 07-22-09, 08:26 PM   #5
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i think i'm leaning towards option one,....either way, time to start to live rather than just exist.
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Old 07-22-09, 08:36 PM   #6
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One, and find new friends where you are.

Two is only if you are very brave and want to step off into the unknown, which can be risky, especially if you don't have the force of personality to get through possible rough times. You should pay attention to what your heart says, but only after filtering it through your head. Play the percentages, the option with the greater chance of stability to give you a platform to expand upon is the way to go.
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