Yet another day of nothing to do. No place to go and no vision in sight. When you are left alone and have no interaction with other humans you start to become paranoid, constantly anger, perpetually frustrated as insanity slowly begins to take over. I used to just be depressed. I used to want to find a way to get over the frustrations in my life. However, as time goes on and the problems persist, I am starting to wish for the failure of others.
I am starting to show the signs of delusion and insanity. First, I have finally cut off my family. I have added all their names to a block list so none of them will be able to reach me. I am so tired of repeating myself about my misery and continuing to listen to their useless ideas. I know my family cares, but when I die then suddenly they will wish they were really there for me. I am tired of empty offers and promises so as much as I love my family I have turned off my Facebook and decided to die in spirit before my actual death.
Next I have stopped taking my medication. Social Security have turned off my low income support so I can't afford my meds anyway, so I have stopped worrying about it. This was my last chance with HIV anyway so without the meds I am sure to die. SSA may have actually done me favor.
Finally, I have really stopped eating for health. I have been unable to make it to dialysis so my health will not last but I don't care any more. I am sure there are other people on the earth going through the same thing. It is ashamed there are 7 billion people on the planet because no one is any good to anyone in need.